To Dream is an Ability To Succeed

Reborn. Renew. Realise

2011-09-26T10:16:00.001+08:00

Yo.. wat's up world??

I've been thinking alot these 2 weeks.. Nope.. no more about girls.. despair.. emotional...
This is about life..

I've been questioning myself whether is this the right career that I want?? What is it that I really want to achieve??
I figured out that basically I want a good paying job with flexibility of time.. that allows me to travel.. exercise.. and enjoy
working. I want a job that helps a person to change their life into a better one. I want to make a difference in their life..

First thing that I came across is Teaching/Coaching.

But as a teacher in the government, shaping the kids just didn't feel right for me..I have to follow their strict curriculum and
I'm afraid that I'll be teaching wrong info to them.

So that brings me to coaching.. Hmm what shall I coach?? Then an idea came. Relationship coaching..I want to bring it to another level
I want to cater it to Malay guys in general... This will be quite difficult as Islam is a religion Malay in general adopt.
I want to be coaching at the same time knows my boundary of religion concern. This is hard.. extremely hard cos as you know.. most
dating programmes involve clubbing,sex and physical contact to get into the girl's comfort zone.. This is what makes it hard.

But I know I will be able to find resolution to this. And if I'm able to do so, It will be legendary...

So enuff of the business plan. Firstly, I need to have all the knowledge that I could acquire.. I guess I need to go thru the courses
and have field experiences and make a name for myself in the dating coaching. Image.. I need to have a total transformation, physically and mentally
I came to know this Malay guy and I think I want to share this plan with him.

Attraction. What causes attraction?? To be the aplha-male.. a guy who have confidence and able to attract even the most profound
girl in the planet. Relationship. What causes a relationship to sour/to last? What went wrong/right? I'm breaking not just into
the singles market but even to the marriage. How to spice up the relationship so that 10 yrs of marriage seems like a day of marriage?
I got to find the formula.. I got to share this with the rest? I got to make the difference...to people and importantly my life.

Signing off,

Zero0

Hari Raya Aidilfitri 2011

2011-09-01T10:07:00.002+08:00

It's been quite a while since I last blog. Its been different since the last emo-ing time. I come to the point where I don't care about things anymore.. I got no mood to raya.. no mood to work.. no mood to do anything.. I'm still trying to get myself out of my past depression.

It's hard.. really hard.. It's true when they say that once u got hit by depression.. even thou u recovered in future, the rate to get it again is relative high. It's damn hard to bounce back.

Hmm things have been different between us since the last time I told her partly my feelings for her. I accept that.. the moment I set my mind to tell her, I know this might happen. Things will not be the same anymore..My confidante is no longer mine..How do I knoe?? Hmm nowadays.. when I msg her, she would just reply a sentence or two and dat's it. Maybe perhaps she's trying to distance herself.. I don't knoe.. i don't knoe anything anymore.. I'm not harbouring anything with her no more.. just wanna things to be back like last time..She made her decisions.. I respect that..

Sometime I hope I can ignorant of things.. not to be analytic of things..
This year I've been push so hard.. so financially challenging..My mum and her never ending demands... I seriously want to clear of the credit card bills first.. before indulging in "wanting" demands.. Is dat wrong?? I seriously don't understand her.. I never did. I'm not even earning past 2.5k per month.. I seriously can't cope with this.. each and every month I'm stress whenever she calls to ask...And yeahh.. the credit card bills are cos last time she request to take cash advance..

I have not been praying.. i don't knoe why?? I wanted so much to pray to ask for his guidances.. but I don't knoe why.. each time i hesitate.. maybe I'm ashamed .. I do not want to be somebody who only ask for help during hardship times.. I don't knoe... I don't knoe anything anymore.. I'm just now going thru the motion of life.. with no meaning and purpose..

I used to have my UK studies goals.. but it seems that it getting harder and harder to achieve. My love life got screwed, my finance get squeeze and my purpose in life just got hammered. No wonder it's hard to get past my previous depression.

I missed this year solat raya and I didn't even get to hear the usual Takbir Raya.. maybe it just a sign that I don't deserve to celebrate this raya.. I don't knoe.. everything seems so negative..

But I promise despite all that negativity, I'll try my best to bounce myself back from the dead and will be positive more than ever.. I hope. Insyallah. For now I need Help..

Breakthrough

2011-06-26T14:51:00.002+08:00

Hello blog.

Its been sometimes I'm here. So wat's been going on.. Hmm

Today I wish Maya for her birthday and ask her out, sometime in July. And guess what, she said YES. So I guess I'll be planning and looking forward to it. Hmm I not sure how it gonna turn out thou. Her mum is abit strict about dating and all. so we'll see how it goes, if i got to go to her house to ask permission. By all means. hehehe

Actually I'm not sure whether she is in a relationship with the "rockstar" or not. But my mindset has always been that, as long as one is not married, the path is still open.

Wokay..lets have abit of update for Amelia. Hahaha there isn't none since I distance myself from her. I hope she's happy, better without me around. Her fiancee is there rite.. hehe

I guess I do make the right decision afterall. Anywae, I lost weight, alhamdulillah. But now need to tone up.
Ohhh and my dental problem still persist. Apparently I need to do treatment on the tooth. I've been taking panadol to alleviate the intermittent pain.

Shifting to Work, hmmm I have evaluate and declare that this company is not for long term career. Mismanagement of duties. Everyone seems to be fighting their own war without any guidance. Boss expect their workers to work 24/7 without having to pay OT due to Executive position thus not applicable under MOM law.

So i'm thinking whether should I still stay for at least a year? or shift now while I'm still not yet confirm and require only 1 month notice?

Hmmm.. kk nuff said till then..

30/05/2010 - 23:15 - Mon cœur meurt.

2011-05-30T23:17:00.002+08:00

I have deleted her. Before that.. I cried while confessing to god. And it soon calm me down. My heart spoke.. believe in god.. in Allah.. in qada & qadar... Fate.. destiny even in love is all in god's hands. I confess to god that I lost.. I'm giving up... I'm leaving it to fate. If we are really destined to be together then I'm sure we will. If not, no matter what you do.. she won't be urs..

And dis love is one sided.. It's only me.. :-( .... while typing this... I felt a sharp pain in my chest... a heart burn...I'm breathing in slowly.. controlling my breathing as i'm typing this.................

??????

2011-05-30T22:55:00.003+08:00

RINO !!!! What the hell are you going to do???

Today my heart dies..... i'm having so much ???? in my mind now..
My heart is saying one thing while my mind is saying another...

What happen??

Hmm She post on her wall, pondering what to cook for her fiancee cos he gonna get his wisdom tooth remove. Okay.. I'm jealous... i don't deny. I'm damn jealous rite now.
I had mine remove twice... in agony of toothache before the extraction. And I could ever think of at that moment is her... She keep me going strong.. even thou i was in the dentist and afraid of the needles.. she was in my mind the whole time.

I'm not asking for her to cook for me...but at least..msg me... console me..when i need someone when i was in pain.. utterly in pain. I was there when she needed me..when she almost want to break up...when he verbal abuse her.. but she really wasn't there when i need her..

I'm giving up.. i'm dejected.. dissapointed with her.. Should I delete her from my FB totally???? SHould i really forget and erase her from myself???? Should i make her how I have made Nurul?? Just memories... plain memories.. I really don't want to do dat... but it seems she really wants me to do it...

I miss you

2011-05-26T06:31:00.003+08:00

I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY.

It seems that the longer i try to stay away from her, the more I want her, miss her. C'Mon Rino... endure..

Yesterday, otw back home from work, I walk pass her area, hoping to see her from afar. Not sure where she live exactly but just walk and walk with hope. Only knoe she lives in massionette. That's how much I miss her. But somehow, I have this feeling she's near yet so far when i was walking around.

It's not like I'm stalking or something, it's just dat I want to see her so much, tell her so much, ask her to give me a chance to make her happy with me in her life. But I know I can't. Maybe I just want to knoe her feelings towards me. I'm not sure what i want anymore.

N.A

2011-05-23T11:43:00.003+08:00

It feels weird.. feel different .. feel lost.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I WANTED SO MUCH TO MSG U.

I Knoe I can't. She seems happier now.. from her FB status update apart from her asthmatic attacks and difficulty to breathe. Oh well, no msg from her yet...not even comments/likes on FB and at least it conclude that I meant nothing to her. Just a past, just an acquaintance.

I maybe such to her but one thing i'm certain. I LOVE HER. hehe i said it ehh..if u know me, I would not say love to any girl ... it's meant for that special someone.
Like i say before.. I may like alot but i can only love one. With this, I have fallen. Now, I need to accept that it's one sided love and move on. How?? When?? I let fate decide my journey and length.

Steps..

2011-05-16T14:36:00.002+08:00

So what's new??? Hmm

I just got my wisdom tooth extracted. It was one hell of an experience. Initially I wanted to extract both lower wisdom tooth but dentist advise not to. As I won't be able to eat well with both my tooth taken out concurrently. Got 1 week MC but it was a no pay leave for me as I'm still on probation.

Anywae, this 1 week have been an experience. Did alot of thinking, reflecting. I'm definite, It's about time I find my partner. First thing I wanted to do is to distant myself from her. She have a fiancee which I have to accept that and move on. It's been quite hard resisting to msg her, replying her... commenting on her FB. Maybe I should. I can also find out how I am to her. Whether she'll be msging me, asking about the recent disappearance from her life, etc.

Today I found out from the FB status that she has fallen sick. I wanted so much to msg her but I know that by doing it, i will be back to square one. If people ask, whether is it worth it to do this?? I would tell them that I do not know how the outcome will be but I'm sure it would be best for the both of us.

Hmm back to life, beside Maya, I have encountered this new gerl called Dini. An indonesian girl living in Sg for the past 7 yrs or so. There is so much thing that I do not know about her. Her religion, her age, etc... Hopefully I will get to know more.

A little update for my exercise regime: I have lost weight.. Hmm the tummy have kinda not bulging out already.. Abit more and i can start on the six packs regime. Made up my mind this year to be on an exercise regime.. Gonna get back my fitness and achieve that body that I been wanting.

Financial wise: I'm still unable to manage well. Many people ask me, how come my money is gone so fast. I'm single and have no obligation, they say. Well, I took up the SP services bill for my parents. I need to pay back all those credit card debts that mostly my mum ask me to take for cash advances. Actually to me it's a simple calculation. If u can't afford something, don't buy. Purchase wat u are capable of. I meant, for eg. there was this time where her hp broke and I would gladly gave her my non camera hp for replacement. She ask to check with the service provider instead whether can renew/extend the contract so she can take iphone4 white.

First, she already have an iphone4. 2nd she have 2 lines. Ohh both are under me thus the need to ask me to recontract. To my logic, it's best not to renew. This is done so that she can complete one of the line in contract while the other is still in force. If anything happen, she can terminate the out of contract line so she will be using 1 line only. It will lessen the burden rather than having to pay termination fee due to unable to pay.

I seriously think that it does not have to be the parent that is more mature than the children. Parent should start listening to their children and filter out. Take in the constructive ideas/comments.

Wokay.. i guess i let out too much this time. Hmm till next time.. ;-)

Heart

2011-01-01T23:13:00.002+08:00

I cried today..... it just happen out of my control..

My heart hurts so much... as if half of heart has gone away and the heart beat fade away.

But I know in Islam the meaning and practicing Qada & Qadar. God has plans for all of us and hopefully it turns out bliss for her. I can only redha of wat happen and take it in my stride.

It's been a whole day now.. in the morning, I felt nervous.. my mind seems elsewell. I don't know how to turn this around. Luckily for me, nina was there as a listening ear. At least I did not let it all stay inside.. I felt much better after sharing it with her.

Ohh nina is my junior and mentor in TP. We interact only after both of us have left skool. hahaha irony ehh.. And NO i do not have any feelings for her. We just can talk randomly and could click to each other. Dats all. And she has already a bf.

I don't know how i can move on from here.. but insyallah 2011 I'll bring about changes in myself and hopefully find someone like her or even much better than her. Oh god, do open up my eyes and instill courage to face this as I'm just an ordinary human being of your creation that has his weaknesses.

Finally, she looks beautiful in her engagement outfit.

Goodbye 2010

2010-12-31T22:50:00.003+08:00

Hi,

I'm supposed to meet sham and pik at the bridge for countdown today but I guess my heart just simply devastated.
She msg me today, informing me of her engagement tomorrow and ask me to come to her engagement.

I just froze..

I'm sorry but I just can't go to her engagement cos I'm not sure if I could control my emotion if I go over. Yes, I'm feeling happy for her. But I just can't come to terms with reality that he is the one she gonna get engaged with.

I'm sorry, once u lost the trust in me.. it's hard to regain it. I can't be happy trusting him once more to ensure ur happy, amelia. I don't mind if u got engaged or even marry as long the guy is able to take care of u, bring smile to u rather than sadness.

I know that I'm not good enough for you and also not religiously inept. I try to improve myself.. going to religious classes, avoid going to clubs, drink. I do all this for myself and for u. I want to be able to guide u one day if I were given a chance to be ur other half.

Ya'Allah, If these is a test for me, I'll accept it with open arms cos I know you have greater plans for me hopefully in 2011. Insyallah.
If Amelia's not the one for me, I pray to you Allah that you bring my other half to me, insyallah in 2011. I'm hurt and I'm afraid my heart may shut it's door and by then, I know i will find it difficult to open it again.

Lastly despite not coming to her engagement, Ya'Allah, bless Amelia's engagement and may 2011 be a year full of happiness rather than sadness for her. All i want is for her to be happy.

Amin.

.........

2010-12-28T08:37:00.002+08:00

271210

She finally say it ehh...
She gonna get hitch. That feeling is like as if the world came crushing down...
The day will finally arrive ehh.. 010101

3rd October 2008

Is the day I first msg her on facebook. Tried ask her out.. get to know her.. but to no avail. If only I had pursue ehh.... The story might have a diffnt ending..
I might be the one getting engaged to her.. Well who knoes rite.. only god knoes how it will turn out.

2011

I told myself.. gonna save that money and go for the gym.
To stop procrastinate and start doing it.
Inject confidence and self believe.

18 - 21 Jan 2011

Will be hitting Krabi for a short getaway.. Gonna relax and try to find myself again.. myself who have that self believe and confidence to succeed and never gave up. Where did dat guy went??? He left but he will be back.. better form I hope..

Dejected and New Year resolution

2010-12-13T10:13:00.003+08:00

I guess blogging is the only way i could express myself freely. Well, from the look of it, my guess is that she going to be engage to him soon. On the other hand, Maya seems to be head over heel with him, the metal rockstar. Sigh... one after another.. Well it's okay cos I always believe that god has arrangement for me and that person if meant to be will be yours. Sometimes fate works it magic in a surprise arrangement that one least expected. Hmm am I demanding?? I guess not. Everyone has it's own expectation and requirement for a life partner.

Wedding and countless of wedding invites dis end of year and early next year. My cousin got married yesterday. Guess I'm the only guy left of my cousins that got married. Sometimes, I prayed to God to show me the path and to bring my other half to me. Hopefully my prayers will have its answer soon. I guess being single for too long took it's tolls on me. Now what I need at this age is for someone to be there with me, during my hard times and share joy with me when I'm at my peak. Guess I want to be love and care.

I been saving up money to go for the gym sessions to ripe my body and live my life they way I want to. I have not much issue with my body size cos I went from acceptable weight during my sec skool and silat days to the increase weight during my injuries days till now. I guess cos my knee and ankle is taking it's toll of my weight and it worries me. Thus i decided to lose that weight and not only that, to go for that ripe slim toned body cutting. Since I gonna lose, might else well settle for the best right?? haha. Hopefully Feb 2011, I could start my regime.

Sleepless Nite

2010-09-22T01:18:00.003+08:00

I wish her happy bdae yesterday 20th Sept. It was a short message, "happy Birthday"

Don't wish to get myself carried away again..

For now.. I've been unable to sleep well.. I'll think abt her when i sleep, woke up from sleep, wondering how is she..whether she still got scolded words of abuse by her bf..

Well I went to her FB page.. she seems happy, from her pictures.. good for her I guess. I regret falling in Love with her.. cos it's easy for me to like girls..lots of girls..random girls.. girls at first sight..etc.. but it's very hard for me to fall for a girl cos I'm an extremely picky sort of a guy.. and if I fall for someone.. it also means that she is my other self, my bitter self..

Oh god... I can't believe I gave up again.. after 2 girls.. i gave up again..even thou i told myself countless time that, this time it will be different. I won't give her up but then, it occur again. Once I gave up, she will fade away slowly from my haert. Just like nurul. I think I have a very soft heart, I rather see someone i love be happy than having myself happy. Sighh...

Recently, nurul got engaged and when i knoe abt it from her fb, I felt happy for her, for real. But glad that I no longer have feelings for her.. even if i have, it would be close friend relationship. Now u see why I'm so adamant not to give her up cos I do not want her to fade away from my heart.

I need to sleep period, like now.. but how to?? Oh god!!! help me... give me ur guidances and signs on what can I do abt her?? sesungguhnya ko yang maha tahu akan segalanya..

Disappointment

2010-09-20T08:06:00.003+08:00

I been distancing myself from her..

Controlling my feelings every now and then. I don't know if it's the best move but what I know is that I'm disappointed.

Actually my old PC was back up running and when I start to browse thru the internet explorer, I found that I have bookmark her blog address that i save 2 years ago I guess. That's when I got disappointed.

She stated in her entry that 'he' has been her pillar of strength. And there was no mentioning of me. I was expecting at least a tiny bit. Maybe she purposely did not put me in as it could be viewed by 'him' and could cause misunderstanding.

Actually I started to feel something different in her action and behavior on Sept 7th.
On the morning itself, I introduced buddy poke FB application to her as it's a kinda cute and interesting animation for one to interact with another. So there are few occurrences where I post on her wall doing various things for eg, bite,dance and she post to my wall too doing various things for eg, pet a T-Rex, playing flying dagger. It was all alright till at night after she got back from skool. She message me saying that she's sorry but had to delete the buddy poke posts. From then on, whenever I chat with her, she would reply with very few words. Even her usual self that always 'LIKE' or comment my FB post no longer be seen.

My guess, 'he' confronted her or something about the buddy poke thingy and guess what, he now have buddy poke acct and actively post on her wall doing the buddy poke actions.

Well I'm disappointed that since she can forgo friendship and choose her bf instead, then might else well she can live her happily ever after life with her bf. I was there when her bf verbally shout and scolded her. I was there when she broke down when the world are against her. I was there when she needs someone. I'm disappointed that I was left like this.

Now I understand why Iskandar, her long time friend told me the reason why they are disappointed with her and find its hard to mend the crack. I once told myself, I will be there with her when she's down but I guess I'm not that sure abt it now.

For now what I'm sure is that I'm utterly disappointed but I still care for her. Love is blind ehh.. well I'm slowly regaining back my vision...

Dejected.. Jealousy..

2010-08-20T15:06:00.004+08:00

Actually I don't know what I want out of this..
Perhaps initially I thought to be in a platonic relationship is alrite. but
For the first time in all this years of knowing her. I felt afraid...

Afraid of losing her.. So she have sorted things out with her bf yesterday ... and I advised her somemore...Wat the hell ehh. You wan her but you advised her on how to mend her relationship..

The thing is, I more concerned of her well being than my wants. So perhaps that's why I always put her interest before myself. Sometimes she request for something.. maybe a task..and I would always tell her that it's a simple thing that wouldn't take much time. But actually I just couldn't refuse simple things that she wants.

So when I got to know that they have sort things out.. it kinda put me on a withdrawal syndrome.. afraid.. of losing her.

Lots of ??? been playing in my head. What should I do? Should I tell her how I felt?
How would she react?? Would things be the same anymore??

I guess I'm not prepared for this. Not prepared to have a changed in our current relationship.

NHAMELIA

2010-08-19T01:18:00.000+08:00

My name is Rino and this is my personal space.
nhamelia

Questions.. Uncertainty... Doubts..

2010-08-16T09:28:00.002+08:00

It's been few daes since I last blog. Hmm wat have happens these few daes..
Well I found this gerl..on FB.. Maya is her name.

Initially I thought.. she is bimbo type of gerl from the look of it.. but after getting to know her, she is actually quite good. Balanced of everything, with added features.. hahaha

Hmm I wonder how old is she? Maybe I will wait for a while to ask her for her age.
She looks young..and if too young, it seems wrong ehh haha too big of age gap.

Oh well, U nvr know haha cos recently even Ustadz Akhil ex-wife just got remarried to a 23 yrs old man, 12 yrs age gap btwn them. He looks so young and virgin haha in the wedding photos.

I'm glad that I'm having my options..and found Maya. Wat's next?? haha to be unfold...

A friend of mine ask me before..to work / do up a company that deals with guys failing in their relationship cos apparently I give great advices to him on how to get girls..

I can't deny, I have the skills cos afterall, it was based on Gambler, PUA theories.
PUA = Pick Up Artist
Gambler = The world renowned Pick Up Artist [Uk Based]
Pick Up Artist is actually an art of picking up randoms girls at random time & location. It even stretches out to diff races with language as barrier.

Well, for me.. I would rather take a little bit of here and there and still maintain the boundaries of my religion, attraction at its best. Perhaps one day, I might just be a love guru ehh hahahaha consultant for muslims brothers. hahaha

U see there is an achilles's heels in everyone and that's includes me. I can give advices to people but I'm rather dumbfounded by my own. I need someone to give me advices cos it's more effective that way.

Wokay.. dat's it, I need a new job pronto.. I'm so so so sick of the job and the mood is no longer there.. Can't excel to my best capability. Oh god.. I need a new job, a better job, a job that I like to do.. for my bdae. Pleaseeeeeeeee hehe

Empty

2010-08-09T22:42:00.002+08:00

Today is National Day, a celebration for my country independence [SINGAPORE].

Well from morning, I was down with a stomach ache. It's not like a normal ache where you feel a sense of relieve once u went into the toilet. It was more of a pain than a discomfort.

I couldn't sleep the nite and only managed to sleep at arnd 5am+.

Anywae this year, I didn't managed to go my aunt house at Kallang. I always go there every national day. Well, i wasn't feeling well.

A feeling of emptiness surrounds me today. I analyse and i think I know why. Finally, I have the feeling of a need to have a companion. Almost everyone, my cousins, friends are either getting engaged or get wed. I know being a guy, you have more time than a gerl cos of the depreciation value of the different gender. For me, I'm rather tradisional in my thoughts.. I don't mind getting married and have my own family if I found the ONE.

Well, there are lots of gerls out there but to find someone you would spend the rest of ur life with is hard. Hmm so wat's my criteria for a gerl.. hmm

She does not have to be pretty as in star struck pretty but just simply sweet.
She must be strong willed and knows her own limits but at the same time demure and respectful of others...
Independence is another quality.
I'm not so detailed into features cos I think personality is more impt than features. So she should be someone normal..moderately okay.. being thin is okay.. Sexy and desirable features are good to have..a plus points.. hahahaha.
She got to be religiously equipped and knowledge...All she needs to have is balance.. knows her limits.
She can make mistakes.. as long as she knew wat her mistakes are and willing to change for the better. :-)
Lastly, I got to love her rite... hahaha u can like many gerls but u can only love one.

I guess my criteria is kinda hard ehh.. well wat to do.. that's the one i'm looking for..

Test 01

2010-08-04T22:19:00.002+08:00

Today,

It happen. My true test..
I received her sms querying over my dissapearance.

I don't know whether to reply or just don't do anything abt it.
I think over it again and again... and I replied after hours of pondering..

I guess, even thou I distance myself from interaction, it was just mere avoidance.
Well, I fail this time..
Coincidently, I decided to msg my friend affandi who came back from UK few weeks ago. I ask him to purchase for me AON MANUTD HOME JERSEY.. but I lost his contact num. Thus I decided to go back to FB to personal msg him. Little do I wonder.. she post msg on my wall.. hehe is this coincident or wat that we conincide on a mere minutes I log in..

Only god knoes I guess.

I can't deny i miss her.. but I can't revolve my life around her... only her..
I got to buck up and snap myself.. hehe
Like a saying goes, "There are lots of fishes in the sea". Actually i don't knoe how she felt towards me as..

1) A friend
2) A brother
3) A confidante
4) A lover

I guess I shouldn't hope too much.. We never even met in reality.. hehe ironic huh..
Now do I knoe the truth in the song by Savage Garden - I knew I love you before I met you.
It's possible cos I'm in love with someone I haven't even met before..and it's likely that it's just me chasing - one sided love. C'mon reality check!!! She's got BF.

I'm glad I gone into blogging again. I feel more relaxed than ever before.. maybe cos I do now have avenue to let my thoughts and feelings known.. :-) Alrite stay tune..

Reborn

2010-08-03T23:52:00.005+08:00

I went back to FB and reactivate it for a moment..
Gosh.. I found out things beyond my expectations. My friend 'A' is in a relationship with gerl 'B'. And gerl 'B' is actually someone that another good friend 'C' have crush on.

Well what the hell.. I was shocked, till now. It somehow trigger something in me.
I was shown 2 options.
Option 1: To do something, to fight to get her even thou she's in a relationship
Option 2: To go out there and date gerls.. no matter who but just date, talk to random girls/people, build up ur confidence level and see the world.

I decided to go for option 2!!

Actually I did that once.. and it was magnificient.. ended up, went to the club... get up and dance on the podium with a hot gerl. I even randomly grab a gerl's hand and guide her to dance with me sensually.. I can't deny.. I was pretty high that time... and it seems no one can stand in my way.. I was in control.

But it led me to the darkness.. deeper and deeper..

NOW I learnt my lesson.. I gonna be standing in between the fine line of darkness and good. Gonna be the alpha-male. Till next time... watch out my dating journal soon..

2010-08-03T17:57:00.002+08:00

Work

Hmm what shall I say about work...
For a start, I hate working in the military environment. As long as you are handling government bodies, there are tons of process and paper work that need to be prepared before and after a work is done.

Facility Management.. not my favorite subject in poly.. haha but well I'm in this line now. It's more about man-management and customer service oriented career. I'm okay with it actually but to tell the truth.. I got quite a major setback during my NS daes dat undermine my confidence level.

I think at that time, I was already having minor depression from the setback. I ignore.. tried to fix it but didn't I knoe that the depression increases after I went into the workforce. It was alrite at first.. It get worst when I was assigned another site after the former in-charge shift to another site. It was actually a site where there's only 1 active occupant while 4 users are not stationed there. So there are quite a problem if I want something from them as there are spread out all over singapore. It's quite a hassle to coordinate something like that.

Nowadays, I think my condition is getting worse. I have no mood to do outdoor activities and I spend most of the time sleeping at home. Sometimes, I aren't able to concentrate on my works and it's affecting my performance. I unable to organise myself anymore.. everything seems to be in the mess.

Couple of time, I really want to see a doctor regarding my condition but I can't bring myself to it. The result of it, it got worse. I want to change my job to something I enjoy doing and not something I dread going to work each and every other dae.

Perhaps, I should lower my expectation and opt for a job which I like.
Oh god.. help me thru this.. give me the strength and cure this depression of mine.. before it's too late..Amin.

Good Bye FaceBook - Rino Nor Rihsam

2010-08-03T00:46:00.007+08:00

Hi blogspot,

It's been quite a while since I log onto the blog. I guess, no one has been to the blog for quite some time. It should be okay.

Anywae, I have decided to disconnect myself from Facebook at 0600hrs this morning.
Alot of reasons. But most importantly, I want to find myself again.

LOVE
Ironic isn't it. Time and time again, I keep on falling for someone who is attached.
I'm afraid. Yes, I'm afraid cos I don't want to fall into the 'best friend' web. Actually it's quite a coincident that I met her. It was over the net. It was kinda random and somehow I decided to msg her on friendster until the tranfer over to facebook.

It was nothin at first, no feelings wat so ever. Just glad someone have the same mind,interest as I am. As time past, it seems there are so much things we have in common. Sometimes I wonder if we were twins of different bdae or is that what they call 'chemistry',fate.

With her, it was different feeling all over. You could say that I have this strong feelings which I could not avoid to feel. A feeling that she will become a big part of me somehow in a good / bad way. I guess only time will tells.

Well the feeling for her intensify when she got into a big fight with her bf. Her bf was caught exchanging intimate messages with another girl, which she coincidently finds out. His reason is that he thought she have engage someone to play a prank on him. C'MON lahh I'm a guy and I knoe what he have done.. He make the mistakes and now he is pointing the blame to her instead.. DAMN U LAHH!! At that point of time, I have mixed feelings. A feeling of happy cos there is finally a chance for me while at the same time , a feeling of sad,discomfort as she is unhappy.

My heart became restless when she's in trouble over her relationship. Well, I can't let her be unhappy rite.. so I advised her, comfort her and try to help her fix back her cracked relationship with her bf. It was painful for me cos I left my chance to take advantage of the situation yet I was happy that she has reconcile and smile came back to her life.

I don't know if what I did was correct but all I want for her not to be sad at that time. That's all that matters.

However, I somehow came to know that her bf frequently hurl words of abuses to her and treated her not right. It pains for her friends to see this happening to her and have frequently advised her yet in the end she decided to left them for her bf. I was filled with regrets... maybe I shouldn't have advised her to go back to her bf.. perhaps I should have just take advantage of the situation and be with her..cos she deserved better. I may not be a perfect guy but I'm willing to be the perfect guy in her eyes..

Sighh.... I really wished that she would know how much I care for her....

Ya Allah, if she's the one for me, show me the path to guide us and give me the strength and patience to go thru this. Open her heart and guide her to find her true happiness. I may not be the one but may she finds someone worthy of her love. Amin.

See ya on the next topic - WORK

Lets get it started

2008-10-17T14:54:00.002+08:00

Wow its been almost a year since da last entry. AHhaha DOubt there's any reader in here. Well guess i'm free to blog hahaha. Anywae wat has been happening for dis 1 year.

I been out of sembawang camp to 6 SIR Maju Camp. Its been rigorous to get dat 3SG rank but now i got it long last. I'm about to ORD soon come dec 07 08. Can't wait for dat dae.

Went for a knee operation which made up of ACL RECONSTRUCTION and OAT (Ostheo AutoGraft Transplant) both to fix my ligament and cartilage problem. Hope it went well.

Raya dis year has been too dull for me as i could not go around with my operated condition and awaits for pple to visit my house. I will still remember the reason y i decided to go for the operation.

1) I wan to regain back my fitness and active in sports again and perhaps the best form i ever had.
2) I wan to learn breakdance and maybe like khai say form a crew. Why? cos i'm sick of RF crew being the best and getting it all. Somebody got to bring them down rite hahahah.
3) I wan to give myself a break before ORD. Too tense in army almost breakdown there.
4) Since i'm still in the force y not go for the op since its fully paid.

This is my journey. Next time it will be about my next year resolution.
till then

A new start of blogging

2007-09-16T01:51:00.000+08:00

Well this is an old recollection i have miss exposing to the world hahahah NS during POP to Course in sembawang camp till the present ME hahaha.

Anywae hahaha can't believe i started to blog again. So far no one knoes hahah. Perhaps its becos of burnana hahaha she got a blog n after dat i started to remember i had one. Its weird to see my old posting cos i can't recalled blogging the majority of it ahhahaha. check out my old posting aite hahahah. Anywae will update more so stay tune to the blog.

HAri raya is comin good bye ramadhan

2005-11-02T03:07:00.000+08:00

well ramadhan is nearly over and hari raya is comin.Emmm did anyone ever felt like wat i felt during the dae itself the hari raya? well on the dae usually the morning when i heard the songs being played it was a sign dat it is nearing and goosh i'm excited super excited and when u hear takbir raya being heard i felt a sense of recolection of the past.I felt so sad and tears flow and would say to myself at last the dae have come finally.Don't how many of pple out there feel like wat i feel. Holidae is only for 2 daes and came Monday skool reopens and off i'm to skool with new subjects to handle and new goal much2 beter than ever.

dis time i gonna fully transform evolve into an alpha-male.gonna lose dat pound off my body and gonna get either silver or gold for napfa maybe going try for talentime ,perf or such .Todae i felt somthing i nvr feel before dat is finaly i felt a need for a companion.well todae i went to TM to purchase pant at U2 with khai then later he went see movie with our MS E.after that i wander from arcade at century till nowhere.ended up breaking fast at KFC ALONE... then suddenly i have the urge to call home and i did and guess wat my dad went for work which i thought he is not working so my sibling were left alone breaking fast so i rush my ass taking the cab home.kklahh up till now but insyallah will be posting hari raya pics soon so watch out for me in pink and green.

Finally Project over

2005-09-09T18:06:00.000+08:00

YEahh finally my project is over.Relatively our group of 3 didn't do much and we find it rather easy maybe cos our supervisor helps us alot.TRIBUTE to our supervisor for being there for us always.By dae wae i aready brought my baju kurung for hari raya. I knoe its kinda early to buy but my mum insists to buy it so we just follow.The Theme of these year for my family will be pink and everyone will be wearing relatively pink.At first i felt like ewwww but when i try it on and found out that it is not bad at all EHehehe.

Hey anywae there was dis time where i had a dream and after waking up i thought abt it for such a long period of time.In the dream there are me, rahman and yunus and some other which i could not remember.BUt the part is dat i was infront of them all and we all pray.I was like the imam for the session.Wat was dat supposed to mean? i knoe if u dream dat u are praying there is some meaning but i'm aint sure.

Todae is Sept 9 few more daes will be my bdae.Don't knoe how it gonna went or whether anybody remember it.Yest nite i watch dis chinese movie at abt 12 midnight. The movie was abt a gerl being stalk and the stalker's sister the murderer.After watching it i was like whoaaaa wat a freak the stalker is. HE says he like the gerl but DAMN U if u like the gerl can't u think dat ur action will make her insecure and hate u. I realize sometimes when a person like the opp sex they rather tend to be possesive and over jealous. Cmon lahh don't u have some faith in urself in case of if ur gf would go out with her frend and in the grp is a guy who happen to be ur gf ex and u are jealous abt it, u on ur part should be confidence of urself and say to urself dat guy is not a threat to the relationship cos at the end of the dae ur gf would be ur gf not somebody's else. BE confidence of UrSelf GUYS cos it is the primary weapon in getting gerls by urside and lastly don't be a doormat.

Yest after watching the chinese movie i could not sleep till abt 3.DOn't knoe y keep asking myself wat am i gonna do with my life? , After having diplom wat am i gonna do next? Wat would i want my family to be when i'm married later? HAhahahah Getting old aready ahhh i guess, keep thinking abt the future ahahaha. Well recently i watched the maid and it was good damn good for a local production.Those dat have not watch Should watch it ASAP cos it is a good show. Early this morning i check my gmail acc after so long and guess wat i WON a PAIR of tickets to watch RED EYE BUT...... the screening is on 31 AUG.ARGhhhhh I check my mail too late now my prize become ZERO hahahahah. kk till next

A busy mth ahead

2005-07-29T13:23:00.000+08:00

Yup dats wat gonna happen soon , a busy mth ahead.Well u c i aready start to train silat back and wanted so much dat i get more than i imagine.hahahah well its becos dat i got selected to be in the swuad preparing for the PSK Silat Competition.Its a national event n on top of dat i will be performing For the NDP cos they wanted us to do perf on the finale only.It will be a short one where there are 10 persilat in a group of two's sparing out for 20 sec.The schedule will gonna be tight as all this thing will last abt a mths time n the comp is in 2 weeks time.WHoa wat a life.

Anywae its 8 aug n yest wat a hell of a dae in the morning went to NDP for the perf at abt 11.Its was ok but screaching hot.after dat we need to be at BEdok - Silat centre cos it was the opening ceremony of PSK - PEncak Silat Kebangasaan.Yah bydawae for the past few wks i been trainnig for psk for cat I and i so damn work it out till i lose 3 kg just to be in the cat but becos fadzli came on dat dae the weighing dae we clash weight being both in the same cat so i opt out to be in a higher cat of which i need to gain weight.emmm at at time my mind really blank like i been hell trying to lose now i need to gain.but its ok regardlessly i gonna do my very best and keep up the stamina.So after the NDP i went to Firr house to slack till 3+ cos i don't want to go home.When we arrive at Bedok it was hot i mean the surrounding was so grand.We got two fight which is Asyer aka USHER n Ali aka the newcomer.Asher fight was close but he lose not becos he flop but just fate n he did it all his effort he give it all.For ali he was a lucky one cos his opp was overweight n was disqualified.I don't knoe how much longer my body can take the stress i'm putting it but i gonna go on.

Just another dae

2005-07-08T08:56:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time since i last blog.Been doin my attachment in skool and it feels like too plan out.Wat i mean is dat now its like mon 2 fridae go to skool at 9 and sit in front of the computer basically do nothin till 530.But luckily ahh there was dham,fazli,ghani,khai around so i would sometimes went to their lab and had our own adventure.This past few daes, i have been thinking actually wat i want in my life? n am i gonna do something abt it?FOr me the only big obstacle dat hinder me is the ability to convince myself to learn to be spontaneous n try out things.Cos failure only starts when u give up but its like my mind says i could but my body doesn't.Is it time for me to think for myself rather than others?Well i been reading dis book which happen to say dat if u starts to imagine, it will go about and manifest it for u such as if u keep holding the thought that u r exhausted then u will always be burnt out.These things hapens cos we let our imagination get the better of us.Your mind will create the thoughts around you depending on what you hold in your mind.DAts y sometimes in life we tend to let our assumption on wat we supposed we see get the better half of us.This led to lots of problems which we will regret in future times.By the time we realize it, it may no longer allows us to amend the error.Blog readers do some self reflection on whether does dis applies to u or have it ever occurs.

I have always witheld the believe dat wat ever happens in life whether is it good or bad would have yourself as the character(the cause) somehow.Cos wat ever you do will have a cause and effect.Don't deny cos dats the fact.Don't knoe how many of you have watch "Dia" on Suria.Last nite was the last episode for the season.Overall the set was nice and all but i was really annoyed with the character of "DWI" who keeps quiet the whole times even thou she was ill-treated by her step mum which soon led to herself dying of emotional stress.CAN't she just speaks up,defend herself.Hope the next season will not be so lengthy on the keeping quiet part and hope it will have a good ending but too bad "Dwi" life is not long so it will led her being dead.

dats all for todae Y'all

Beginning

2005-06-27T10:49:00.000+08:00

Welll last sat was my match and regretfully i lose.
So here the match facts - the first round i successfully take down my opponent twice and i knew dat round was mine.The second was quite okay but toward the end i felt dizzy maybe becos before the match i found out i was .2 over my category so i ran and didn't want to eat ending up with dizzy spells.By the third round i was so dizzy dat i can't no longer punch, i let him punch me as much.DAMN but nvr mine like i said this is the start of a success.at least i knoe where my weakness lies and i can correct it.When i reach home my mum nag at me for comin back home late and ask my grandmother to look after the house.I was like really annoyed cos all this while nvr not even once did she or my father ask abt my silat whether how i did or even came to see me fight.It was all abt me , i rely on myself to came dis far.I have nvr ask them for money to buy dis or dat cos i knoe if i ask my mum she would nag and most probably sometimes only i get the money and for my father i knew he is into some financial crisis dats y i did not ask for more money bt did anyone notice i guess nope.Sometimes dis is wat i rather called communication breakdown and it is always when i quarrel with my mom dat it is me dat give way and for my father sometimes his ego can be so big dat he don't see the whole picture.Iyelahh sometimes parents think they are more matured and they are mostly correct being living in dis world much longer but nvr do they listen to wat their children saying whether are they making senses.

I do want to continue silat and stuff but if i don't even have support internally how can it be done.Like dat time when i'm in the national team and they like see it as normal and they even like saying don't go,how many time must go and stuff.Until i finally make the decission to quit.It sure gonna be a hard and rocky road if i gonna make it.Don't knoe wat happening to me now listening to songs smoke machine,yeah - usher and some dance beat.I think i into the dance mood how i wish i could turn dis lab into some dance floor and turn the lights off and dance my mind away.DAts y sometimes i felt dat it is better that i'm alone so lonely cos dat way no one will be affected due to my problems.Mayb dats y i rather be alone.I guess like my frends said dat i always think abt others rather than myself.I can go all out for my frends but when it came to myself i'm stuck,confused and can't seems to help myself.

Just Blogging

2005-06-22T16:18:00.000+08:00

Well yest went back home and realize dat nowadays my life like was plan/scheduled.Everydae from 9-530 will be at skool and then go home or sometimes go play soccer after skool.emm isn't life be just plain,entah lahhh.Well yest nite hear couple of songs from my comp and suddenly dis song Akon - I'm So lonely played.It reminds me the first time i saw dis gerl face in reality.Well cos when dis song is played ,I look around and saw her.When i saw the Suria drama "Cinta Internet", it remind me of a frend elly who is kinda alike with the female character in the show.Both are dancer and indon.Hahahah

Gonna have my match dis comin week hope i won i think even if i don't win it gonna be a start of a success.

A wild month

2005-06-20T10:28:00.000+08:00

So it has been an interesting and wild month. LEt me start with few suprises
first was someone who i don't expect to msg me and she did.Its been long i had thought dat wat is done is done but guess it brings me life.second was when someone ask me qns and i found out more than i want to.Unfortunately i become confuse yet glad dat i knew the truth maybe its just me.Well there was one strange event dat happen on the bus back home on fridae.I,fairul and nasseer was takin bus 72 back home and only when the bus reaches hougang dat i realize dat FERA was sitting opposite side of me and i didn't realize dat.I only knew when fandi my fren shout my name and then i and fera turn and look ahhaah.well i guess nowadays i really can't spot pple around me.Always in daze and confused hahaha.Earlier i had dis seminar held in ORchard Hotel abt energy efficient strategies it was a $600 seminar n the skool paid for it.The lunch was superb i tell u there was MOven Pick ice cream buffet,jap style dishes,korean style dishes and even nasi bryani and rendang.Super to the core hotel style service and quality.Then at there get to knoe dis gerl name DIP from Ngee ann poly.She is from Vietnam i guess or is it cambodia hhahaha well she is sweet and hot.I guess dis mnth will be gerls mnths hahaha cehhh nak step player aja.But it just happen u knoe.

WEll dis month i will be having the Inter Varsity Silat Championship held at Ngee Ann Poly.The first time i went there i and the others felt so small cos our strength was like 6 and the other varsity except RP was like more than 15 but i told myself and the other we are small in capacity but great in strength.Well i soon became the team manager of TP silat team.It was a great responsibility but well dis is my first time and i guess i flop at it.WEll yesterdae was the quarter final and wak,fadzilla and raziff had their matches well only razif won the match and the other two didn't but a job well done.Earlier Safwan and Asrin had both won which safwan won 1st in seni(tunggal) and asrin won his match.

Well yest for the first time i saw Salwa (MiniRoxanne) at ngee ann poly.emm she is cuter in person.i mean really she looks kinda lilla bit diff but she's nice and sweet.Actually i don't recoqnize her , i don't even knoe she's there but she went up to me and said hi and ask whether am i rino cos i look familiar to her.And one shock dat is firdaus from rp lost his match.HE is a very good persilat dats y i say a shock.So its gonna be my turn nxt dis sat/sun i hope i gonna win it all cos gonna start train from todae onward.And yahh i also found out dat hidayah my cousin was a close frend of nurul so i was more than shock.hahahaa WAT a shocking month

==- DIS POST is tribute to nurul for demanding me to update -==

after long await

2005-05-26T13:45:00.000+08:00

Well it was a fun three daes mentorship of the engineering freshies.The atmosphere was awesome and realy inspiring.I guess when i sign up for the mentor i didn't knoe dat it gonna be a fruitful one but i was wrong.i learnt alot and mature alot.In the end Engineering didn't won anything but Business did as an overall somemore.After dat went to jam and hop session with my white sweaty shirt cos got no time to change ahh cos my frend is performing with his band so had to rush there.I was like monkey aready jumping around doing crazy things hahaha.So after a sweaty dae decided to take bath and change into my black shirt and continue to dance the nite away ahahah.Well it was an okay nite ahh but wanted to dance with someone but guess nvr did ahahah.At least i dance with 5 gerls aready ahahha.

Well dis past few daes been really missin her.Everywhere saw her , at nite can't sleep and such haha even i like saw her in one show Cinta Internet.I knoe it all my imagination my delusion hahaah.Dats y i always told myself don't be too excited or hopeful of something u haven't archived yet.Yah lahh who knoes only i like her not vice versa - Malay says Shiok Sendiri.But at least i'm lucky cos i had felt dis feeling before with another gerl and now it happen again.The same feeling but with diff gerl.So it bring to 2time ahaha.Back to Cinta Internet show its quite okay ahh good cos got three country collaborate and the outline of the show is quite interesting.Can one really fall in love tru the internet.Without knowing her, without seeing her.Is it possible?I guess dats wat i rather called being in love would make u do wonders hahaha.

emm guess till here then.

How i wish..

2005-05-16T16:45:00.000+08:00

Well dis is the phone dat i think i gonna saves up money and buy and i had to wait for its release.hahah Its cool ahhh So todae is MOn tomorrow i got briefing and officially start of my 4 days camp till fridae.Its TP freshmen orientation on Wed till Fridae and the last dae gonna be jam and hop session maybe featuring the BReak Force Crew.Well gonna make it short and simple ahah see ya

Ohhh my gerl .......

2005-05-04T17:28:00.000+08:00

Well gonna leak out wat really did i expect from a gerl and wat is my dream gerl.

1)She doesn't have to be pretty but must be sweet
2)She must be bubbly yet able to be independence and strong will
3)She must be kind , respect others according to the situation.
4)She must be proactive yet gentle on the inside and lilla bit on the outside ahhh
5)Confidence Of herself regardless of wat pple would say to her.

Dream GErl Features
---------- ===== --------

She must have the sweet innocence looks of most japanese
Gorgeous body like most Thai
Bubbly personality like most indonesian
A demure and elegant of a french gerl
She must be strong and independence like some malay gerls
A enchanting open personality of most chinese Singaporean

Dats it so Any gerls suit the description?
PLs send in ur resume to our main branch ASAP

Well actually the above is just my perfect dream gerl emm wat i really want is exactly like erra fazira character in SOAL HATI if u see it before.She was awesome.She is lilla bit has a strong personality but actually in the inside she is soft just like any other gerl.And she scores when she wears her specks.

WEll recently i had make a frend somehow dissapointed and angry.Cos i had ask her to forgive wat i had done and she still haven't respond maybe it fated but then i realize dat i really mean wat i say then eventually the msg will get across so i would not give up just yet.Actually wat i had done is dat initially i like dis gerl and want more from just being a frend i knoe she has no response to the matter so for quite some time i give it a long thought and many has advised me to move on and search for another pearl in the sea.So i did , one day i msg her telling dat i decided not to bother her again and in the process i will be finding myself again till i find it i will not bother her.Now i grew in maturity and experience of life.I realize i make a mistake for doing dat nvr appreciate the chance she gave to be my frend now all left is unspoken boundaries.I nvr wanted it to happen dis way nvr want to make any foes just frends.Now i wouldn't knoe how to face her when we met.
*Sigh*

TP Mentor

2005-05-04T17:08:00.000+08:00

Well khai has been bugging me to update my blog actually now in the process of doing the whole blog.Revamp the whle thing.Well the new blog will consist of flash,java script and some animated gif.

WEll i been really busy with this Mentor trainng at skool been having dat for abt 2 daes.its been wonderful and just can't wait for the real thingy.Just hope i got paired with someone who are able to talk in the class cos i hate it when i'm the only one talking.Hahahah.Actually the past few months i been researching on using the brain power - Having to control ur brain at will.Been doing it well as i just got to tell.Actually there is 3 incident who like make me go goo goo gaa gaa.

Once is abt the carpets i had in my house.The carpets which consists of small and big was being dried.Then I went to my uncle house with my grandma , suddenly out of the blue, i was like thinking and the picture of the carpet which at my house appeared.Minutes later my grandma was seen taking out a small carpet from a plastic bag and turns out the carpet which i thought of.Second is while i was waching the Tv i suddenly thought of the times i and my two classmates went to Kuantan,Pahang with the school.We became roommates.I was like "hey how come suddenly think of this".It turns out the next dae i saw one my roommates while waiting for the bus.
Lastly I was walking after a very tiring dae of my mentor training with two of my frends.while i was walking, i suddenly feel as if something urge me to look around for someone.Which i did and found out dat indeed someone who i knew and is not yet a TPians came to TP.She was walking with her frends.Too bad i realize it too late as she walk past me by dat time.WEll these are the incident dat happen after doing the brain visualizing exercise.it somehow able to let me something which would amaze most pple.haahaha well hope i can hone the skills i have now.

Till then

Reminiscence of Broken Flavor

2005-04-08T11:39:00.000+08:00

Well Todae is the result of the exam for those applying tru SMS and tomorrow is the dae for me.emm wat will my result be? Well so have u all watch IKLAS - indonesian drama show?It was a hit for me cos it really inpsired ur heart and soul.Emm i think i fall in love, in love with indonesian songs, drama and etc. cos when they did something be it a drama or a song,their emotion can be felt right tru u their msg is broaden tru u.TAke for example Ari lasso a superb singer and the one who wrote IKLAS,ADA APA DGN CINTA, PERNIKAHAN DINI and more when they play it out they are not triving for money but rather for the passion not for the fame but for the pride.

Anywae dat dae i was just browsing tru my old cd and found my graduation video cd.WAtch it and i was like keep laughing at the goofyness of me and 3 other frends who was performing on stage singing and rapping.It is sure great to have everyone envy and respect u cos when we perform every one thereafter would like " hey dis is the guy who perform ", some would set us as an example for performing at skool as we are considered the first and the lasting perf pple would look up upon so basically we are a famous ones in the skool hehehheee.But those were the daes yahhh those were the daes.Somehow i miss those daes.Daes of being on top and at the peak of my performance in soccer.It was until dat knee accidence dat make my dream shattered.Fret not cos i on the road to eternal victory.So while reminiscence on the past.HEr photo keep flashing on my mind then i was like emm now i knoe dat i can't really forget a person but i can just move on and treat it as an experience.I knoe i can nvr forget u and nvr could compare other gerl than u cos u are special and would always be special to me.

==- THIS IS Reminiscence of Broken Flavor -==

Life gonna be boring soon

2005-03-31T12:12:00.000+08:00

WEll so exam is over.Emm okay ahhh got 4 papers and i managed to do it all within 1hr.I hope i did OKay.WEll there are few things i want to try to achieve dat is to pass all the paper without having supp cos i been having supp for the past few sem.Second i want to try to have at least a distinction for a subj cos not nice ahh later if get diploma then all D and Fail - pass supp paper so at least if got one Distinction then like okay ahh.hahaha So the skool has ended and its holidae.There are few things i want do

1) To rebuild my blog - I aready have the idea of wat i gonna do
2) Go for the orientation camp later - Being a Mentor for IBT
3) Have fun and try get work soon.
4) Get a Handphone with a MI top-up SIm card.

WEll for the rebuilding of my blog the idea is there just dat the whole process of having to make it possible is tedious but not impossible.Gonna have to spent a lot of time there.Some of the item gonna be included - Flash,Java Script, Animated Gif and some Designated/Edited Pictures.

So actually after skool ended i feel so lost lost without guidance of direction.Maybe we are use to being in skool so when there's no skool it feels so empty.hahaha So i guess just wait for a job or be playing CS at skool to pass the time.So till nxt Post.........

Take a risk Take a chance - BREAKAWAY

2005-03-14T17:12:00.000+08:00

So my projects all has ended and now is the time to study for Exam.We got a week study break before the paper.Got 4 paper to study - Microcontroller Tech , Project conctract management , building management and networking and info com tech. So need to study so dat i pass all my subject no more sangkut ahahah.Emmm French Speaking test was disastrous but i manage to answer her back and only ask a few qns such as what time is it and wat type of cold drink do u have cos my topic is CAFE.Emm we were all so nervous and the teacher knoes dat and says don't worry abt it relax and chill.

Yah my post title so someone advised me to take a risk take a chance and breakaway.I don't how it gonna be but i goona try it anywae.Just now i watch one chinese movie INFERNAL AFFAIR - whoa super nice sahhh those who like cops movie like me should watch dis shit.ANd i also had make a promise to myself dat is to inpired to be the best in silat not only in GRASIO but perhaps in SG.I knew when the first time Abg sheik took me and guide me he knew i had something in me dat fancy him.Dats i gonna prove dat i gonna be the best and start training again but first on my own. I don't knoe i just had dis feeling i got to do something dat is i want the next time i hear talk abt silat i want GRASIO name to appear such as hey oh shit its against grasio wat a tough one.Dats the good one i want to hear abt.

But dats not all cos i gonna be diff just wait.................................

Stresss........

2005-03-06T09:44:00.000+08:00

Whoa dis sem is really testing my level of endurance.Alots of project and so little time.Now i am really cracking my brain On MCt proj cos i can'get my circuit board to work as the programme.Someone help me i thinki knew y i so stress up cos firstly i'm the group leader and i don't want to dissapoint the rest.And all this while i was thinking dat i was good and help others in their proj but came to my one i flop.ARghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. This is the time where i would miss having a gerl to console me or at least free me from the thoughts.Hug me cos she care and support me morally.I knew i can solve this thing but maybe for the past 2 wks i been thinking only abt Mct dat it kinda make me go nuts.If only i can freee my thoughts and then start a fresh. To be COntinuE........................

Yesterdae

2005-02-28T07:47:00.000+08:00

So update on yesterdae life.So i decided to go to competition silat training at jln besar CC with Firdaus.There i met halim who also same as me first time after so long.So the three of us was like panicking heart thumbing.The training whoa super vigorous sah aiyah now i knew i really need to work it out.Ahahaaha i even had a couple of unfortunate events such dat i fall down the stairs and follow by stepping on a some sort of a needle and then i injured my leg while being ask by Abg Sheik to demonstrate to the class. Firdaus yest was like super blur after being taken down by a junior member.HE was shocked cos it was the first for him to be taken down 360 to the ground landing head first.So he was in dazed and he keep saying dat everytime he done it to pple now he been done with.Since then i like okay dis is it i gonna get really work out and gonna be the toughest,fastest, and capable silat practitioner in grasio.

After dat me, fazli,coco,razali and firdaus went down to beach road for a meal.Really enjoy it and really enjoy the Mango freeze fir has brought.Then i proceed to city hall to actually get a plain black t-shirt i been wanting but out of stock.So ended up going home buying nothin.

Okay so todae is the result of the O's level Hope my frend who i knew takin it pass the paper and JOIN TP ahahahahah.Aliff is one guy i need to find out emmm Fera is another cos she keep saying she dream dat she fail and WAti also who predict she fail and my other frends.So GOOD LUCK AHHhhhh.Hope it be a good new u give me.

Signing OUt................

Wat a week

2005-02-19T19:24:00.000+08:00

OK so everything is wrong dis whole week.Start with Tuesdae being V dae dat no miracles did happen dat dae and off to WEd where i fall sick.I discovered i was sick at skool and at dae dae i got an appointment with my project mate so i just force myself to go tru it went to get some panadol extra and it do help alot.So the whole night was all sweat and the fever was cooling down but the headache doesn't but due to PROJECT i had to come to skool for 3 hrs.See lah FERA u were like coughing now and then see i got infected.Hahah just kidding only

First was Building Management which i screw things up u knoe y cos i go and del evryone data not the whole part but a minimal part of it cos the server is link.Emm MAybe becos of the fever dat my mind can't think straight keep saying the wrong name for the wrong person i think my mind is seriously damaged at the moment.Due to the earlier mistake i was penalized for my project and the teacher say she was very dissapointed.KAnina ahhh ok i knoe i'm wrong but at least i own up and stupid software why the hell make it common so dat everyone can del the things at each comp.She blame me as if i'm the only one at fault and nobody does it.I'm so sick dat i was thinking of dropping it now u c ahhh losing an A's student.i was thinking if i can't get A's or B for dat subj i might as well repeat it and confidently get it right the second time.
Next was soccer i don't knoe y but everytime i play with dis two pple in my team i would surely not satisfied with it maybe they have a diff way of playing the game.U c they are good players but one drible2 only then like lose the ball i mean if after a few time u ca dat u can't play at the back then don't play too much cos in dribbling u beat pple so as to pass the ball to other mates to make it much easier second person is when he beat the player they pass also pass to their own player which i mean was their own frends.Everytime like dat one Dats y i was proud to be in TEAM CHAMPS cos everyone understand each other they play as a team.Even Jung our ace defender i c him if play with other like emm OKAY but if with us its like whoa u are good maybe it lies with the team itself.I'm extremely proud of the TEAM CHAMPS.
Another was on Friday which i didn't go skool cos my leg kinda hurting can't walk properly.First nvr go doc then todae lect for the first time they mark attendance for SMART HOME.AND lastly SAT dat is todae where i miss jam and hop cos my head is spinnning like a beyblade.I got a presentation to show on MON and stil haven't start on it cos i don't have Office Xp.

KK ahhh gonna get some rest and cry a river cos i can't go todae :)

VAlentine dae

2005-02-14T17:32:00.000+08:00

Emmm so todae valentine but just wanna remind those muslim out there not to celebrate valentine dae cos there are history behind it and of cos we are not supposed to celebrate it due to religious thingy.Well as far as i knoe i think the history is abt there was once where in france or something like dat the muslim was all killed and christianity take place after the revolt.The dae the triumph of christianity over Islam is on valentine's dae.I think dats how the history goes.

Emm khai got one - go for it ahh khai emm sham got one - u once tell me dat if anybody want to be with her got to go tru me first yahh u are right cos u just gone tru me hahaha as a frend well now almost everyone got one. :( well for the past week from tues till todae i can't seems to be having a nice sleep.I would went to bed at 11pm / 12am and would only sleep around 2+. U c i don't knoe y but maybe i miss her cehhh rino ahh ahhahahaha.actually i was thinking of how to ask her out? and could i really ask her out? Would she decline or would she ...... Well so many doubtful qns playing on my mind.Emm yah almost forget hey Fera so valentine didn't do much wonders for me i guess how abt ya? Did it came true? ahahhaa.Emm so tight up with the love thingy and it seems dat i just lose hope in studying can't seems to concentrate cos i was like falling asleep almost every lect ahaha.Wat an impact But i like it hahahaha

Someone new came and build a chapter a blank chapter.Would it be fill with sadness or joy? Hey actually sham and fiza emm they think they guess it right but actual fact i just misled them into thinking so cos the real thing is was the would expect.Maybe they would say yahhh like real u think i didn't knoe. U c dat gerl u two were guessing abt yahh i used to like her but not anymore cos i once say i could like a gerl but if any character of her i don't agree i would immediately cancelled it out.So for now gonna crack my brain and concentrate on my new chapter.

Shag

2005-02-11T15:21:00.000+08:00

Whoa super shag sahh dis week.Mon as usual got skool but TUES whoa No skool actually supposed to be half dae but then i start at 1 sah ahahahahah so automatically no skool.Then the night i wen to play soccer near my house basketball court for two straight nites TUES and WED.Emm i can say they have real good plyers there got dis one boy ahh abt 150m + height play soccer super good sah despite his height he can control almost every ball well. Then off to Thurs where i play at Paradise well Score one emm actually dats the first time i really play after mths of slagging. Well dat dae fazli got his lips and gums cut as a result of a collision with another player.Hope he aright ahhh cos we do need him if there's competition.

KKk till then got french classes now

Turmoil

2005-02-07T13:14:00.000+08:00

==- MESS WITH THE BEST DIE LIKE THE REST -==
WEll i don't knoe wat the hell been happening to me can't think right and often feel at loss.Once there was a dae where my mind suddenly blank and i can't just think of anything not even sweety and even nurul.it was as if my mind is rejecting.Guess wat there's was once lst week where i had a dream of which i was in a bus back home and the bus was passing by clementi and the streets was filled with dead bodies and i soon panicked.When i got home i was horrified of the situation and when i was peaking out the window there was mist all over.Is dooms dae comin soon????? i don't knoe.

Sometimes in life u just want to rectify an error by building a new program all over again.And dat happen to me how i wish i could just have a family and build a home all by myself.A family where i could rectify all those errors dat i encountered previously.I could truthfully says dat if there is a gerl dat i found and she's the one and in any case if she ask me " if i ask u to marry me now would u? " I would say yes i will" but then i would ask her dis " if i would to be poor, disabled or if anything were to happen to us would u be there with me? The road dat we goin to take will surely be a rough one would u able to do dat ? cos i do". Simply say dat if i found a right gerl and dat gerl can satisfy wat i expect of her, i would even quit dis damn skool and get on with life cos life nvr stop unless u want it to be.

Yest i don't knoe wat came over me. I just feel dat i want to go out and just meet sweety and say to her hey could i see u later? hahaaha but i didn't life is a joke ahhh.I guess i'm not ready yet for her.My heart says dat i should go but my mind doesn't.Can i get u sweety i don't knoe but i will try cos i won't want to feel regret later on.Well make a decision just now well nurul came online after so long mths she finally log in but guess wat i choose not to msg her and move on.I hope i'm making aright moves cos after all life is a gamble

Boo!!!!

2005-01-27T14:13:00.000+08:00

Hey u knoe wat i think i am falling in love again for the second time.Can't stop thinking of her.emm don't knoe if she knoe dat i like her.emm would valentine be a dae where miracles and suprises happen? i wish it would cos then at least it will shone some lights onto my life.Hey Fera gd luck ahh with the interview and hope valentine also make wonders for u too.Well yest saw Kal ho Na Ho again emm superb movie for those who haven't watch it better watch it cos it is so touching especially the last part.Well now i got two frends who got long name hahaha one is elly and the other is fera and both of them had relatives overseas one in indon the other in egypt hahahaah.This year is surely gonna be a year of changes and i gonnna see it tru, especially to myself.U knoe sometimes i just wish dat my knee is all well and i could jump around like before do silat and get back to national team.But i knoe it is gonna be hard and even if i do i could not do my best. :(

KKk till then

A new Found smile

2005-01-25T15:19:00.000+08:00

Hey well first of all we won yahh both the director's cup and the champion's league sort of competition.Well the Champion's league was a tough one cos almost all the teams are equal with us.They are sure strong but we are stronger.Oooopps We Did it again.WEll hope we got a treble soon.Now all those sun burns are really pissing me off cos we like playing under the hot scorching sun for abt 6 hrs.

Second the term test well okay ahhh ecxept for the last paper which i give up.Didn't study at all cos there's two paper ine dae and both are theory wise.But fret not i hope two out of four i would score high cos then i be alright.

Well to dear nurul, its hard to forget u but i came terms with reality and move on.I knoe i can never get u out of me but what is done is done and life has to move on.I thought dats it i could nvr found somebody who could attract me like u do someone who i yearn to dream abt and someone who could make me stronger just like u do.But i did i did found a person and i not gonna let it go no more.Don't knoe she realize i like her or not but i not gonna lay back and let it happen cos i gonna make it happen.

===- MEss With THE Best Or ENd up Like The REst -===

Update

2005-01-12T10:54:00.000+08:00

Actually nothin much to update.We won the Director's cup.Well i got clean sheet But too bad no cash prize.Well gonna change layout soon it be awesome.So do check it out and comment.

Update

2004-12-30T15:39:00.000+08:00

Emm so first update , well i have put in USher - Video at my blog since ez archive can no longer be used freely. Well first time for abt almost 5 mths she nvr log into msn or i had contact her. When i told her i going to give her up i think after dat she has dissapeared and todae she has reappeared but :( for a short period of time.Twice to be exact but only lasted for a few mins.emm :) was i when i saw her online but then i was hesitant on msging her.BUT when i was down there was dis gerl who suddenly msg me and she type BOO!!.Hahaha somebody to cheer me up at the right time. A sweet gerl who i respect for her attitude.MAybe she is reading dis so MERCI BOUCOUP.

Well badminton tournament ended up with me meeting Khai.Emm damn first match aready face khai.For those who don't understand who is khai,he is my frend and training partner.So i ended up losing to him in 2 sets.HE however managed to get into quater final and eventually lose to a school badminton player.For soccer bad news - Idham aka Damn Dopey is unable to give his hand in helping the team to a cup victory.He has suffered from i think cracked heel or something from parkour down 18 staircase height.But fret not hope everything else goes well for the team most probably Sufiyanto will be replacing him.

Now i'm here stuck in Cyber centre researching on my Project and contract management assignment which is due tomorrow and here i just started.Really stressing me on a last min job.i knoe i should not have done it late should have started it earlier.well wat done is done hoep the dae tomorrow will give a nice welcome shine.

kk got to go back to my research.

..............

2004-12-23T14:45:00.000+08:00

WEll dis week ok ahhh quite interesting.On tues i went to Changi beach to join my family my aunt all for some gathering.WE decided to camp there.HAd some bbq session here and there.But one thing whoa really make me think sahh.Got once khai told me abt his cousin who suddenly became whoa HOT who he met at Hendrix.So while i was in the tent lazing away,there was dis family approaching the camp site and my aunt then start addressing them.So i was like who sahh they all.It turn out to be my cousin 's cousin.THEN i saw a gerl whom is my cousin's cousin.She was like really attracted me sahh.HEr sweet face,her child like voice but sounds matured but overall whoa the whole nite i was like keep looking at her direction.Dat sweetness and innocence really captivated me.hahahaha Even when i was back home the next dae it like her face keep showing up everywhere.OK lahhh lets stop at dis topic.

So while at changi i can't sleep and decided to go for a walk.Then went i went to dis car park i heard a car alarm went off and the car keep bouncing.I knew something is goin on in there.SO when the car alarm is off i decided to play some pranks on them.i approached the car step by step.WHoa they sure really can do their thang ahahah.Then i decided to count down from 10 and when it hit 0 i came out and suprised them.THey sure panincked and i sure ran away ahhahahah.Should have brought camera ahh then can see their shock faces.

UPCOMIN WEeK

- Director's CUp (BADMINTON - Singles) 29 Dec
- Director's Cup (Soccer - Semi FInal) 8 JAN

Emptyness

2004-12-20T16:23:00.000+08:00

WEll really kinda miss her alot.Just realize and keep askin myself Y am i studying for?And who i did all dis for?For wat purpose would i gain? Well when i was back in sec skool the only thing dat kept me alive was her Nurul.I still remember dat i want to give up on my O's but when i think of her it keep me motivated.She is my inspiration,motivation,my everything My life.She gave me the strength to succeed beyond my abilities.

Year 2002 a year where i graduate with proud.ACtivities dat i'm proud of -
1)PErform at National day,TEacher's Day,Graduation NIte.
2)gOT SELECTED For Silat NAtional TEam
3)Got the chance to take photo with her
4)Pass my O's quite well with my MAth from F9 to B3
5)Got into Semis in the All Style Martial Art Comp
6)Got Second iN INTER-GRASIO Silat COmp

All dis is possible be cos of the Almighty One.I did all dis beyond my abilities cos of her she keep me motivated even thou she not directly play a part in it.
SO now when i did forget abt her i seems to lose a huge part of me my life my everything.When i got into Poly it was becos i knoe she would end up in poly cos she is from express and me a normal academic so i did my best in my O's.

REsult came and all went well got into TEmasek POly even thou then course is not exactly wat i want but i knoe it is for my own good i make the decission.MOre PRoblems came.My family had cash constrain and my mum says dat i don't think u can go to poly.It really devastated me but i didn't give up just yet i search for sources even help to get me here.Eventually with the TP LOAN and MENDAKI subsidy i got in.I did it not becos of anybody but for myself cos i knoe dis is my future i should take care of it.

Now life has been really empty but i am happy for once cos although money is an issue now but i can see the strong family bond i been yearning abt.It Start with dis year hari raya and till now.

FOR NOW i really want to be who i am back in year 2002 a active,fit,dare devil person a person i am proud of externally.HOpe thing goes well for the comin daes

Au REvoir

A brand new semester

2004-12-07T17:56:00.000+08:00

Hey so skool just start and everything is going fine for me here.Ahhhh Thurs i like dat dae cos i start at 10 am and end at 1pm ahhaahahah.Anywae my family going tru tough times financially i mean even the usual 50 bucks i got for every month is reduced to 30 bucks.emm luckily there isn't any book to be purchase.Well maybe we gonna move out soon i guess cos the sound of it my parent are planning to do so since my now masionette flat can't seems to pay off.Well i don't mind actually to live in 2 room flat cos i been there done dat and live tru dat so it means nothin but just dat i would miss my neighbourhood which i spent < 5 yrs there.Hope we will pull thru dis.

Well gonna save up money .wanna buy sony erricsson K 700i well saw the ad showing $298 at starhub.Now have abt $100+.emmm somemore got to pay additional $100 cos i stil got 8 mths on my contract with starhub.so altogether gonna save up abt $400 to buy a hp aahahaha.Got money now don't want to buy ahahahaha.Well went to a frend blog and saw pics which she took during hari raya outings and suddenly saw dis one gerl ,her friend who she took picture of.She look kinda alike of Nurul.Then start to think of her again ahahahahah.Life is full of games ahhh keep playing with my mind.

Actually the real reason is dat i tend to like someone very fast such dat emm i would say i like dis gerl but when i saw somebody the next day dat attracted me i would also say i like her.So it will nvr end but when it came to nurul i would not say i like her but she is my life, without her i felt lost.cEHhhh Rino dah berjiwang sehhhh hahahahaah.

Well sad dat AZmi and Najib have left Temasek POly due to unforesee reasons.Well we will do all the best all we could to help Azmi get back and fazli has started by doing a petition for him.But one thing hope if azmi however hopefully get back to TP, hope he would treasure and do really well for his studies.Want to slack can ahh but not everytime just a couple would do to relieve the stress.NAjib emmm heard he did not even appeal.well couldn't do anything for dat guy then :( .HIP-HOP Fest is comin to town and it is held near chinatown i heard and need to pay 15 bucks for it.Don't knoe whether want to go or not see how.BFC is performing as always.

So dats it till the nxt post

Update

2004-12-02T14:11:00.000+08:00

HEy sori guys for not updating.My comp at home make prob ahh lazy to fix it ahahaha.ANywae emm dilemma abt four gerls.First gerl someone i had aready and like 2nd gerl someone who i like but don't knoe whether i'm forcing myslef or wat 3rd gerl emm someone who i don't take notice but when she not around i miss and felt jealous 4th gerl someone i don't even knoe all i knoe is her face and she lives near me.So full of mystery is the 4th the gerl emmm wat should i do?So should I trial and error

Emm wat is my heart desire?Not much just someone who cares and to my liking.So ended the story here.Emm well check my timetable and ended up i did got french and my time table is relaxcos thur is 10 to 1 ahahah and most ended at 4 except in fridae which is CDS.So YEst play badminton with naseer, hakim and ahmad.Emm it was fun alright and i was at my 70% i managed to take all ahmad smack.ahhahaha not bad for me an ex skool badminton player hahahaha.

BEen trying to pray 5 times a day cos i think no use if i fast for a month and perform all those pray and good things and after ended ramadhan i did not continue.So be at my best form ever when skool reopens on MON 6 Dec.Gonna get All A's and distiction ahaha Insyallah.

Hope Azmi get his second appeal accepted.Don't wanna lost a frend especially not fun ahhh i only takes 27 to skool ahahahha.So all the best AZmi.Anywae Yarghhhhh Taufik Won really first time i really look at him as an idol it teaches me dat if u persevere a dream can be true and KEn Lim is awesome a man of thought BEst judge after Simon.

Ain't NO Sunshine When she's gone and i don't want u to be left all alone cos there's no sunshine when she's gone

Confused in denial

2004-11-19T11:47:00.000+08:00

emm so hari raya emm been a whole new thing for me cos dis yr even though i didn't got to buy any new things or watever wat i got is family for the first time i felt the togetherness in hari raya.The first time i felt dat way as a family.Didn't go out much cos my family is cash strapped and no time.emm maybe be goin out dis comin mon with either nasseer or rock group,the problem is i don't knoe which to follow.emm after hearing hairil says thing i don't wat to hear emm maybe changed my mind a bit.wat he said actually dat i should make a choice and remmeber who u promise first.First he said i should make a choice than stress on saying remember who u promise.wat the hell if u are dissapointed or wat then say it it ahh don't beat round the bush.emmm he maybe frank but sometimes he think pple should follow wat he said and not the other way around.wanted to make peace on both side suggesting to collaborate but here hairilnot supportive.emm he is sure too frank.anywae update on my hari raya pic link so just click on it ot view it ok not much but just enough at the moment be updating soon.HAhahahah Raudhah cehhh blue sehhh emm ok princess hahahahbut still thinks hana cuter than u hahahah.kk till then

emm update i pass my supp paper all of it emm oo abd for white ,khallef and sham fornot passing it emm hope their appeal is accepted cos don't want any one of them to go.so todae check m time table hahaha even thou haven't release i got my ways tru backdoor hhahaha found out dat i got french as cds and not the same clss as aziana and raymond my clss mates emmm badddddseparated again now dat maybe sham not around be lonely without any fun in class cos he is gone and my class is drifting far away.

Very BAd Day

2004-11-10T11:57:00.000+08:00

Wat the f*** check my friendster todae and somebody del all my messages and my frends then change my name to horny boy wat the hell sahhhhhh.Gonna get to the bottom of this if i knoe who dat person is i really gonna do him good.U just watch out ahhh.MAybe god is trying my patience how i going to retrieve all those messages and frends wat the f*** ahhh.IF u don't beg for my forgiveness dis hari raya U gonna rot in hell ahhh.U better be sorry for wat u done ahhh KNN.

Just now pay my starhub bill and now at skool expect to be around here for a while but guess a while longer.I don't knoe wat else dat person those to my acc hope he nvr msg pple around and say all those things.Cos he block msg sending from pple so he must be up to something.

So few more days to hari raya.Emm been busy lately cleaning up the house and do some errands.WEll khai and sham ask me along to Suntec and then GEylang don't knoe can make it or not maybe can't tomorrow can.WEll been feeling down righ now but guess after readiong raudhah blog hahahaha cheer me up her life emm so full of nonsense and laughter especially abt the fish and the Bapok hahahahaha.

* TRIBUTE TO MS.FISH *
** MAY UR JOURNEY BE BLESSED **

Hahahhaha emmm i guess its time to rest stop all dis friendster thingy and get on.emm maybe it is an awakening.So i be grateful or not?emmm ok till then *toddle*

A new day

2004-11-08T13:58:00.000+08:00

Hey helo wats up.Well emm todae gonna do some searching well in skool right now the last day in skool cos i will not be comin theresfter.Hari raya is comin and all.So the newest comp in town is in search of a gerl.So who gonna be my gerl?hhaaha the application form is ready just feel free to fill in and send it to me or dial 1800-SEARCh-GERL.hahahhahaa well sham here buggin me to download songs for him but he is nowhere near me.wanna go his house burn some songs and there he said better be fast cos he wanna go out.emm see ahh how wanna play CS for a while then off i go if he is in then good if not too bad ahhh.

Well update on SAt.Went to my cousin house at around 10+ reach there 1030 and my cousin whole family not there they at Geylang and he said yahh comin back at 11 just came here so i went exploring punggol.emm the block i think 175 or something like dat super awesome nice builidng nice roof garden and a nice playground for tracuer wanna tell them soon.Got a lot of bars and railing super nice as if we can climb the whole building hahahaha.So wait outside of my cousin house till 12+ and repair his comp emmm his hard disk spoilt luckily got spare.ANywae finish the whole thing abt 2+ and chat with raudhah till 5+ i think emm then bath and went home super tired sahhhh.

some more my mum wake me up at 11+ saying we going geylang to buy baju kurung.Actually my aunt ajak.My siblings and I follow.Dis yr color is light blue hahahaha emm actuyally quite nice cos i pick it and say to my sibling haha can not choose color but u can choose the design

2004-11-05T10:54:00.000+08:00

FiRst LoVe
*********

Once in a while
U are in my mind
I think abt the days tt we had
& I dream if these wud all come back to me

If only u knew every moment in time
U lingers on in my heart jz like ur memories,
how I long here to be wif u once more

U will always gonna be the one and u shud noe
How I wish I cud have nvr let u go
Come into my life again, oh dun say no
U will always gonna be the one in my life
So true, I believe I cud nvr find somebody like u,

My first love

Once in a while
U are in my dreams
I cud feel the warmth of ur embrace
& I pray tt one day u’ll come back to me

If only u knew every moment in time
U lingers on in my heart jz like ur memories,
how I long here to be wif u once more

U will always be inside my heart and u shud noe
How I wish I cud have nvr let u go
Come into my life again, plz dun say no
Now & forever u’re still the one in my heart
So true, I believe I cud nvr find somebody like u,

My first love

U will always gonna be the one & u shud noe
How I wish I cud have nvr let u go
Come into my life again, oh dun say no
U will always gonna be the one
So true, I believe I cud nvr find

Now & forever
U are..

So gonna update on dis few dae of my supp paper.Well emm been studying full force since i got the result of sitting for supp paper.So the result of studying really hard pays off cos all the material i studied for all 3 supp paper came out in every question.SO managed to do all the questions.Emm Facility Management emm can do all even thou don't understand the subj but memorising pays off, MATH 3 well can do ahh except for 2 tricky qns which i didn't managed to finish but overall OK and lastly INSCE ahahahahah easy paper but maybe lost lilla bit of marks cos i didn't elaborate much but the ingredient is there.hahahaa So HOpe all pass.

Yest was a much of fun and laughter nite cos me naseer,BFC-ians,Rock climbing play soccer at paradise in Pasir Ris and i make lots of silly acts.hahaha emm i cannot play soccer with out my shoes ahhh very awkward like dat.but managed to lobang few pple and the last goal was a OLE goal.Well found out i think i really need to see a specialist on my knee maybe kena operation to make it as normal but i knoe Expensive where to get the money sahhh.Dats y nvr go to hospital to check up and all.Then due to this knee can't parkour properly can try to do like ground moves but not aerial cos the impact will cause some discomfort in the knee.

HEy well been few months since the knee injury and i gain weight u knoe.gaining like >20 kg aiyoh RIno how can like dat.emm wanna get back to my sec school form emm its like impossible cos i used to jog every morning and alwasy play soccer liek everydae.So now cannot aready skool,injury pull me down.Well till then is dis post see ya

Weird Dream

2004-10-31T13:34:00.000+08:00

Hey wanna update on a weird dream i have.well so after break fast so i went to sleep.GUess wat i dream of - I dream i was in a traditional malay suite meant for wedding.I'm the groom i guess but the weird part is in my dream there are two wedding dat occured one i saw myself and the other Ms X don't knoe she is my wife to be or not or someone else bride to be.At first i was kinda happy but then suddenly saw Nurul ahhh she wear black kebaya top and bottom not sure then suddenly i felt wanna back out of the wedding , felt afraid and unsure.Wat dos nurul got to do with dis hahahahah.then i woke up and sahur.

So yest went to geylang in the afternoon to buy bryani for the family my mum insist on geylang.so went alone and brought lots of food.damn it i left all the kuih muih in the shop after paying only realize it when i got home.so when buka time limited food only.Before i went home called white ask him to meet me downstair to pass me the calculator.So i went home walking home after meeting white.

Walk pass her house yest.while walking saw her at her beadroom window cleaning up i knoe she saw me and i think she soon went inside doesn't want me to see her.So i pretend i don't knoe dats her house and walk away.She is still the same nurul i knoe back then.hahahah well the one thing i can't nvr forget her is dat she is diff from other gerls.She doesn't has the assets to show off and want to show off but she is being herself.Mostly gerls would wear tight clothing or revealing clothes to show off their figures but not she.she usually wear t-shirts,pants just like her being herslf.I like her not becos of her boobs or watever but becos of her pesonality.Tell me how i can forget such a person dat leave a big impact on my life?I knew i nvr will be able to but life has to move on.Whether i meet her again or eventually be with her lets leave it to destiny to do the catalyst.

kk till then

Lucky Me

2004-10-29T15:02:00.000+08:00

Emm yah its been hell of a luck for me cos i thought dats it my blog is gone and had to redo it all again but with a twist of luck and my expertise in comp ahahaha i managed to revert back the process.Well emm so currently just updated the song which is KC and JoJO - ALl My life.Well now in skool studying MATH 3.I think ahh i can pass it all cos every remedial i went to they give tips and it sound as if dat when i study the tips well enough i would pass it.Good for me hope dis luck will lingers through out the year till the year after and after.

Sha - u nvr fail to brighten my dae every morning in MSN.Hope u continue to do so.

Nurul - Don't knoe u read dis or not but who cares dis my blog and i knew i won't be able to forget u but i will keep prevail the strength to move on with life a life of numerous frends and excitement.This is my family, my frend and those who cares.This is my life

Raudhah - Don't be too hard on urself KKK.it sound dat u are totally shag from all those work and poly stuff doin all those production.See Todae u nvr go skool cos of tiredness and lack of sleep.So sleep tight rabbit .

Sham - C'mon sham i want to see u nxt sem kk so do ur paper well and don't dissappoint the hopes on u.By dae wae where u ahhh supposed to be studying but nowhere to be found.Better study ahh

My frends - Thanx for evrything nvr fail to excite the dae with laughter,jokes,parkour and all for those who takin supp better study ahh don't want to not see ya face next sem.

GOD - Thank u god for the guidance u give me , teaching us how to fast is a meaningful experience.Tolerance, endurance adn the feeling of being a mUslim give u a pleasure.thank u God again. Amin

Pray for me dat i pass it all ahahahha

Study for Supp

2004-10-27T10:21:00.000+08:00

Well now at CC checking the internet for a while and back to study.well can't seems to concentrate on study maybe cos been waking up super early and ended up falling asleep when studying.So yest went to Geylang to break fast with sham,khai,nasser,fiza,adeq nasser,ezad,hairil and the rest of the gang.emm super alot sah abt near 15.So wantede to break fast together but ended up we all separated emmm me and some go to KFC to break,hairil group eat @blk 2 geyalang serai and ahmad group eat at haig road.So off we break fast.HWoa super full sah and by dae wae the Tom yam chicken OK ahhh just dat got extra spice only emm nothin special.

Todae is Wed and few more dae to study arghhhhhhhh.Wanna pass all this and get over it so dat i can take my CDS emm wat is it like after i graduated and leave TP? wat my life would be?The thought of it gives me the chill cos by then we be all alone ne w frend new environment.WELCOME TO THE WORKINGZ ARENA.hehehe Well gonna tag at Raudhah blog later cos she is away and be back tomoroow i think hehehehe.Well she got to do some production on dis new horror flick so had to spent 2 dae there at the chalet.Hope she be fine ahhh.OK lah enough talking gonna be back to STUDY

The Result are OUtz : The Final Three

2004-10-24T13:29:00.000+08:00

Emm well yahhh the result are out but i ain't happy abt it emm i fail three Facility Management,Instrumentation and COntrol Engineering and lastly MATH 3.Emm i guess the exam i pass my MAth ahh but overall i fail cos my term test , quizez and attendace all i fail hahahha.emm maybe dats y.So gonna buck up and start studying again for the supp gonna make sure i pass all three Insyallah..Well yest saw dis hindi movie woaa power sah its abt a guy in the army and in order to penetrate the enemies teritory, he had climb he way up on a cliff dats was sure a feat cos i actually saw the true meaning of rock climbing.He were superb.haahha yahh Hindustan too much action

Well sitting at home doin nothin yahh how i miss skool and there were some who said emm when is it gonna be holidae but came to holidae all were bored and came the thinking when will the skool started.heheheheemm hopefully gonna pass all the subj and take CDS next sem.Emm yahh my java expect an A but turn out B ahhaha.Well well wishes for my frends who gonna sit for the supp with me emm WHite,Sham,Khai and the rest of the gang emm sham and white better study ahh or else kena kick out.So very not good ehhe hope we can still be around next sem and brighthen POLY life.Emm KNN dat damn dopey guy he is unhurt heheh well he pass all emm must be hell of a charm to pass it all.i think u go it all ahh dham a great family,great luck and gf and frends like us ahhahah.

kk till then gonna start studying.

Two more daes to result

2004-10-21T13:03:00.000+08:00

Emm Yup dis sat the result are out.emm hope no supp paper and all.Hey sham i think u are right me emo sekejap aja cos i tend to pick up the pieces dat falls.Well now at CC for a while later @ 2 be playing badminton at skool with naseer and gang.Emm yahh TPK traninng and video is also up at emm wat a hectic dae during fasting period.ahahahah well wanna break fast outside been yearning for dat wanna go geylang bazaar to explore and alot ahh.Emm maybe dis year short of cash won't be buying alot of stuff for hari raya.Emm who wanna go GEYLANG - BAZAAR?

Well actually now i ok aready abt the emo thingy emm i decided to move on and let experience do the talking.I feel like wanna get a job ahh but then aiayah latter my mom got alot of talking - who gonna take care of my siblings and alll ahhh.Haiyah so troublesome.

Hey yahh u should watch The 3 trips - Road trip,EuroTrip and boat trip they are awesome.

emm kkk wanna play badminton right now.Till Then

EMotional

2004-10-19T13:04:00.000+08:00

HEy dis two daes have been emotional daes for me.Ever since i watched two emo dvd for two daes - "Turn Left Turn Right" N "A Walk to remember" been thinking like alot.
Nurul - a girl I once like,love ever since saw her back in sec school days.I knoe i shouldn't give up just like dat but i Did and been few months since last contact her.Well i thought emm lets's move on with life .So found dis gerl, a gerl i kinda like.And i thought oh god dis will be a new chapter in my life BUT somehow when i thought i had forgotten abt nurul , and when i think of the person being with me at my darkest time well It not the current gerl but Nurul.Why Why am i keep thinking of her when i want to erase her out of my mind. How i can make u realize how important u are to me and y am i lying to myself dat i wanna forget u Y?Y?.I may be able to erase ur appearance from my life but i can't seems to bury the feeling i had.

But then wat abt dis gerl i currently like is my feelings for her false/true or just a replacement for nurul?Well Hari raya is comin and i knoe i will somehow met u nurul but how am i gonna face u?CAn i go on with my life without u and having another gerl at my side?
I don't knoe, confused and entrapped in a cage full of question.Questions myself won't want to answer cos either way it be painful.

The past is history,The future is mystery and the present is eternity

2004-10-15T13:31:00.000+08:00

Well update a few things on my blog such as U can now choose music based on my playlist.emm but still haven't perfect cos it open a new media player.I want it to replaced the existing music.emm gonna think of ways somehow.But fro those who click on the song it is best u click it and don't select open on web cos the weppage will be distorted somehow.OK well emm rodaaaaaaaaa and shammoooo hhehe kerolz toooo emm well as my title indicates for now let it be secret emm i think shamooo knoew whoo cos he is like me very good at intepreating things.well Hope u nvr tell ahhh hehehe.SO ITS FASTING PERIOD Yipeeeeeee BUT keep forgeting dat i'm fasting.well its the first dae of fasting dats y.SO bored right now don't knoe wat to dooo.How i wish the result is ut so i knoe whether to be happy or not.ANYWAE before forgetiing SHAWTY - Fiza emm remember ur deadline dats y nvr saw u in MSN so trying to escape ahhhh.heheh just kiddin OK i guess dat all for todae

ARghhh Pain

2004-10-14T10:18:00.000+08:00

YEshhh i'm in a real pain right now.emm my whole shoulder got sun burn from playing too much with the sun.well yets went to Sentosa with rahman and gang.we are abt 13 pple altogether.anywae emm we got to hang out with dis japanese group.of which they are all still schooling from the way they dress when we met them.heheh got to knoe MAIKO and NAni they said they from suzouka, japan.emm my frend rahman did all the talking cos he learnt jap bfore.emm thank god we have CDS in TP cos it helps us alot.hehehhe so we spent our time swimming and play soccer.well learnt how to swim a bit aready Fazli SamuRAi teach me.heheheh i don 't knoe how to swim u knoe.well at first i didn't notice but when my frend say my body reddish aredy then i knew dat i got sun burn.emmm haiyaa maybe cos i bare body the whole time hahahahah.

OK so i watch THE EXoRCiSt The beggining on MOn with nasseer emm whoa scary sahhhh very gross too.emm so fasting is tomorow whoa such a quick time dat is just seems dat hari raya was few months ago.emm time really flies.well to khai and sham emm if u think the gerl is frm TP ahahha NOPE if isn't then u are probably correct.and FIZA emmm u got few more hours to solve.heheheh kk till nxt

Festival light Geylang Serai

2004-10-10T23:29:00.000+08:00

Hey wasup so here i'm just arrive from geylang serai to watch the lightings.emm there's dis concert to commederate the opening.emm Sharifah aini, thaqif and all are there.but super pack i go with my lilla sis and bro and my grandma.But it was for awhile only.Anywae Extraodinary happening - i saw dis one guy with long hair and quite a built but one flaw he was wearing a skimpy short.LOL a guy wearing dat hahahah and when i was at haig road there's dis fat gerl idn't mean to insult but she was like telling us she is fat.She wear g-string somemore and when she sits her g is shown ahahahahah wat a butt crack an unappealing sight dat was.emm anywae few more days to puasa so gonna change and be good cos i want to be.

emm dis few days have been like a dream world.keep thinking of when gonna married, to whom and how we gonna be like after marriage.heheheeh grown up aready i think now.well have dis liking for a gerl right now and the best part nobody knows who dat is hehehehhe and keep thinking of her since last chat with her.Would it be another failure? emmmm well gonaa keep with the motto:"Success come to those who never give up" heheheh ok see ya till next post

Realization

2004-10-04T10:04:00.000+08:00

Hey just watch a malay movie entitled "Hingga hujung hanyat" emm so touching.well somehow realize dat don't ever be rude or forget ur parent cos the consequence is great.Dat is called retribution.It will then be too late to seek for forgiveness.

So for those mens who still single always remember dat finding a beauty is easy but finding someone who is good at heart,attitude and respect the elders is hard.It is useless if u have a beauty but dark at heart and attitude by ur side.U will be in a more sorrier stage than u are when u get married cos it be for ur whole life.INdeed choices are hard to make but if u are patience enough,it will come to u.

I too realize dat i will maintain the patience all dis while to find dat one gerl.Been two days thinking of u since we last chat yesterdae.Somehow i felt comfortable,relaxed chatting with u as if we click.Every where i go saw ur smile,sweet smile.Start to pray aready and study.emm been so long since i last pray.Oh god do forgive me if i had done wrong by not fulfil ur wishes.I will try to be wat u want me to be with ur guidance.

UPDATE: So yest sham went to hougang under nisah block to study.i invite him so we study alot.Met my frend while studying there,my old buddies ; Faruq,Firdaus,Wak,Ajis,Ali pendek,YAn.SERANGOON GARDEN SEC RULESsssss.hehe kk at skool studying now soo till nxt post

Dear Diary

2004-10-02T11:20:00.000+08:00

Hey so yest went to skool to study math so ok ahh now can study the brain is working.hehe BUT soon after me,khai ,fazli and ahmad went to play soccer with BFC.emm the game ended at abt 10+ and then i went home.u knoe in the bus on my journey home,there's dis one small infant with her dad and sis boarding.HEr laughter and joy and simplicity somehow make me think.

We should be grateful to be born in dis world.When we are young our parent are there patiently taking care of us even thou it is a tedious job.But did we ever wonder their feelings.Noooo.Usually they would nag at us but did we wonder y.Cos they care dat y.At least there's someone who care abt us be there in our souriest times.Even when sometimes we find them to be naggy,troublesome and a haste they are our parents.wat they ask from us is just a small thing from wat they give us back when we are small.Why shouldn't we repay them just by listening to them their advice and wisdom.Even our fathers, regardless his tiredness,he work everyday to support the family.HAve we think abt his tiredness.Why are we being selfish?

So blog readers when ur parent nag , scold or even bother to ask abt ur life be grateful cos they CARE.Just remember who will be there when we are in trouble.It pays to listen.

Exam is aprroachning

2004-09-29T16:26:00.000+08:00

welll exam is just round the corner and here i am slacking away can't concentrate on studies.Feeling sick just now maybe becos of the rain in the morning.Luckily there was najeeb who gave me two tablets of panadol.Soon after i was kinda alright after a good rest.
Me,idham and najeeb were at the Design Lab using the comp there.Whoaaa it was an Apple MAc Pc can't get use to it.anywae i currently don't knoe wat i'm feeling can't think its like all the thoughts jumble up unorganized.emmm hope can get tru the exam.So here i am at the library well dat one gerl which i told u before which make me take note of in TP is here wearing red blouse.emmm her smile and evrything seems so perfect.maybe tommorrow be goin to grand link to play CS and then go study with Rahman.U c if i study with rahman surely can study but here at library i was like stuck and confused.more playing than studying.kkk maybe gonna start to study a lilla bit see how.kk till the nxt post

Be updating and changing layout soon

Le-PArkour

2004-09-25T20:18:00.000+08:00

Hey wats up everybody well emm be updating for the past few events dat happen.so on Thur me,fazli,ahmad,joop,wak and some more traceurs went parkour at skool.first we went to the railings near bread board and then procced to sports hall for some choreography.well it was a well job done.ours like as if better than team dyno as in the choreograph.AS if Only heheh. so we were shag but still active and decided to meet up at 5 to parkour again but this time at the ELEMENT the adventure club playhouse.wat a day cos we are like parkour abt 4 hrs non-stop.emm, feeling the shag now my leg felt a lilla bit pain in the thigh.KKKK dat all for parkour.

So on fridae idham and white decided to eat out at Soeul Garden as it was $8.90 dat dae but me and ahmad didn't bring enough cash so fazli follow suit and we ended up play CS at pavillion.emm i guess i have lost touch on CS my aiming and such were like awful.emmm well used to be top frag everytime now feels so awkward.NVM skool holidae gonna brush up.yahhh joop also join us for CS.So now SAt, the rock climber are havin comp at SP hope they bring some medal i mean some not just one ok.

Just now go out and pakour for a while almost get to do the railing moves i been trying to get.emm i guess my neighbourhood is quite a good place to parkour alot of railing and stuff.emmm next gonna trim myself down and start to study and learn flipping.

kkk till nxt post

The Great Challenge

2004-09-23T13:38:00.000+08:00

Hey well yest went to watch The Great Challenge - YAMAKASI 2.Well dis time around ok ahhh the story line not dat good but the stunts were awesome.Inspired again i guess well don't knoe dis leg could still carry me far enough.One thing for sure gonna start parkour again but bit by bit.KKk so talk to liz yest on the bus emm for the first time.Found out she live at AMK.OK so now i finsh all my proj ahhhhhhhhh so relieved to do so.Fount out i could get A for my Facility Management Proj.Wat an acomplishment.So gonna start to study and concentrate on my studies.emm been slacking like nvr go lect and tutorial wat the hell.

Kkk back to life.well wat i really yearn right now is to see her cos its been so long since last saw her.It is as if she has dissapear or is it becos fate wouldn't let me to.wat the story behind all dis hope i can knoe cos it really make me thinking.i used to think dat wat i need is her but now i realize it is her quality dat i yearn for.Hope dis time around during HAri raya it is gonna be diff when i met her if met i suppose.

Well really need to work back my physique cos i been gaining like alot of pounds i think since my sec days its been 15 kg i put up.emm really need to put some action on those.well till nxt post

My proj is near ending

2004-09-17T17:17:00.000+08:00

Hey now left only 2 proj to finish up dat is JAVA and TCS well ok ahh gonna brush up on my JAVA proj and gonna start to study for ma exam.well u knoe the gerl who once i got put in my nick "We live so near but so far indeed" something like dat well a big suprised she is here now at Temasek POly Library.hehehe i though she is ITE or something and nvr saw her bfore here.emm maybe she is with her bf.well she is sitting just behind azmi and infront of joop.emmm so demure although we live so ear but it seems so far.hehehehe emm hope later i go back i go back with her same bus.ehehehhe Kkkk stop RINO i say STOP thinkiing .hehehehe

kkk welll khai,salman,azmi,nazib.joop and me are in the library sham say he wanna go see his group mates entah sampai skarang entah kemana.kk lah takpe dia pun dah besar dah pandai fikir sendiri.ehemmmmm welll BFC is organising Chalet at east coast park todae till sundae for rock climber senior only.soo see ah maybe update on the picture.

kkk till my nxt post

Feeling rather Mixed

2004-09-15T15:46:00.000+08:00

Hey ya at library right now feeling all mixed up with emotion.Well emm i really miss her miss her alot.Its been few months seen last saw her and it seems like a decade.Been my mistake is it too late cos I know she ain't comin back . What I gotta do now. Don't wanna end it dis way.Should i or should i not let it burn.Cos i knoe i don't want her to suffer no more dat if it does.WEll emm keep thinking of her every where see her face WAT DA HElll heheh am i crazy or wat can't seems to concentrate on anything.

kkk right here at library Dham, Salman , Khalid and MAi is here they each have their own proj to do but even though i have, i can't seems to do it cos i can't think right now.My mind is jumble up.Wat is life wat is the meaning of life.Why is it so hard to understand life.emm dat the puzzle dat seems to hinder me

kk till nxt post

current song - Burn (Usher)

GErl NL dis is for u

2004-09-14T11:17:00.000+08:00

Girl, understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn

It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart
It's been a long time coming
But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think ya gonna change ya
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby
Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn

When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn

Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same find myself
Callin' her your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feel
I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know she ain't comin back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back
Ooo ooo ooo ooooh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my booo
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-eleven days, um-teen hours
Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)

I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)

Gotta let it burn

Second is better than None

2004-09-13T11:25:00.000+08:00

Hey all well yesterdae the comp well i got second place arghhhh toooo bad.Yesterdae Sham, Fiza came to watch me but too bad i lost.emmm but dats ok cos i predict dat much dat i could lose.FIRST - Not enough Training, SECOND - Haven't had a sparing session for very long time all rusty now and LAST - DOn't have the strength,stamina and the support dat i want.Yesterdae wait for u to came but u didn't.Don't knoe whether u got the msg or not.ANywae whoa yesterdae after the match alot of injuries or should i say multiple injuries.hehehe ok my foot is swoolen ,my left knee is acting up again, my left arm seems to be hurting and my body is aching.emmm guess i really neeed some training again.

kkk so on SAt my bdae emmm feels like any other dae no Celebration or watsover.My MUM even forget my bdae and realize it only at night but i appreciate it cos then she go to Hougang mall brought a watch and a KFC dinner.emm it doesn't have to be a great outcome just need to have my presence feel.emm FIZA even forget my bdae Whoa hehehehe but SHAM did and my aunt did and some of my frends did.Well and skool now and can't seems to get things right skip JAVA and intend to skip the whole of todae lessons but found out i got INSCE quiz later at 1pm.WHAT the HELLL cos i didn't study and i didn't bring my books along and my proj such as JAVA, FAcility Management and Air con i didn't manage to do it cos of yest i was so shag sooooo WAT THE HELLL is HAPENING in LIfe.............................

Till Then

Its My B'Dae

2004-09-11T11:41:00.000+08:00

Hey wats up all well now at my cousin's house updating my blog.well TP rock climbing team and now i think are havin ROCK ON 2004.Hope one of them if possible more than 5 make the Temasek POly proud.kkk back to todae, well yarghhhhhhhhhhhh its my B'Dae 11th September 2004.Emm wat would i wish for well emm let me keep it for myself heheheheh.Hey wanna tell u all something suprnova.org is a superb website cos alot of thing can be found there.Khai ok lah clubbing will start agai after Exam ahhh dis time Phuture okkkk.Thanx u all for wishing me just now.I appreciate it. Emmmm yesterday whoa me,fazli azmi,ahmad and some rock climber were at the sports anual meeting and wat a spread of dishes they offer but the mushroom mee aiyah if eat alot can womit sah.hehehe kkk dat all for todae.For those who read my previous post do came tomorrow for the Inter-Grasio Comp kkk support me and my mates.It be on from 12pm till abt 7pm kk see ya there hope i can win IT GOLDDDDDDDDD

Its aproaching

2004-09-10T14:45:00.000+08:00

The time is 2:47 pm well bored don't knoe wat to do anymore.had to finish up proj and stuff and its alot.well one thing i realise is dat when u in POlY ur time is constraint and u won't have time to do something u alwys wanted.Well learnt dat from a frend.Anywae emm ONE more Dae to go to the big day.well hope dis yr will be something diff.I want o see some changes in my life i mean alot of changes.LAst time in Yr 2002 it was a year of changes for me cos alot things changes me to be a better person but dis yr onward from tomorrow had to have a new goal the archieve my fullest potential.Emmm becomin lazy, putting on weight every dae is a no go, attitude must change, no more clubbing/entertainment OK and dat goes to u too KHAI.Gonna start to start praying again remembering the God the only one.Well actually wat is Tomoroow dat i said is approaching.emmmm well think of it......................

Gerl ur a kind

2004-09-09T17:53:00.000+08:00

kkk now at library just finish my skool.emm khai is with me right now cehhh start to study seh khai.well the gerl don't knoe her name but she is the only and first gerl to actually caught my attention in TP.Well she is near me right now using the comp with her frends.Her smile her everything so sweet, hope her attitude is like her outlook but then she got bf third yr student in TP.Heheh wait for him to finish then i go for the finish line ehheheehe(evil giggling).well me rushing home soon cos i had to go for Silat class later got to train hard for dis sundae.

kk dis is one shocking news for me - Fazli came up to me saying i had to fight him if i win the match dis sundae.Wat da hell am i in the Final aready. He said due to no exponent in his CAt he switch to my CAt now my hope for gold is becoming dark.Will U came dat dae?Ask my good frend to pass the msg don't knoe u get it or not but i will and i will win it if u are just there.There to watch me bring back the goal glory

kkk till next post

Mind PLaying

2004-09-07T11:16:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time. Few more days to go till 11 sept. Back then in 2002 memories keep me alive thinking of u.The first encounter the first sight emm so sweet.Y y can't i keep it dat way.Ur special to0 special cos no other gerl are like u diff unique and special.From the time i put my head down,i knoe i let myself down cos i'm not strong enough to keep my will.Am i living under a fragment of my imagination or am i lost , lost in a world of my own.When i tried to be with other gals u just appear ur face everything.What is dis.Have i gone crazy.Let fate be the judge of my wilful life.

*** The past is history, the future is Mystery, the present is Eternity ***

Inter-Grasio Silat championship

2004-09-06T13:47:00.000+08:00

HEy everybody emm well dis sundae 12th of sep, I be competing for the 1st place in INter-Grasio Silat Championship held at Perses emm the training venue of Sepak Takraw Federation - BEDOK. SO callin out those blog hoppers come and watch the event cos it is the closing ceremony and the matches will be awesome cos it's the Final stage.emm the event will be from 9am onwards and the match will be around 12 onwards if i'm right.It will be till around 7+ so do came.

The Future Lies Within

2004-08-30T13:51:00.000+08:00

Hey everybody well dis is my first entry of my blog well do comment and give suggestion on improving my blog.emm ok TAG board will be arriving shortly so keep update.