Monday, September 20, 2010

Disappointment

I been distancing myself from her..

Controlling my feelings every now and then. I don't know if it's the best move but what I know is that I'm disappointed.

Actually my old PC was back up running and when I start to browse thru the internet explorer, I found that I have bookmark her blog address that i save 2 years ago I guess. That's when I got disappointed.

She stated in her entry that 'he' has been her pillar of strength. And there was no mentioning of me. I was expecting at least a tiny bit. Maybe she purposely did not put me in as it could be viewed by 'him' and could cause misunderstanding.

Actually I started to feel something different in her action and behavior on Sept 7th.
On the morning itself, I introduced buddy poke FB application to her as it's a kinda cute and interesting animation for one to interact with another. So there are few occurrences where I post on her wall doing various things for eg, bite,dance and she post to my wall too doing various things for eg, pet a T-Rex, playing flying dagger. It was all alright till at night after she got back from skool. She message me saying that she's sorry but had to delete the buddy poke posts. From then on, whenever I chat with her, she would reply with very few words. Even her usual self that always 'LIKE' or comment my FB post no longer be seen.

My guess, 'he' confronted her or something about the buddy poke thingy and guess what, he now have buddy poke acct and actively post on her wall doing the buddy poke actions.

Well I'm disappointed that since she can forgo friendship and choose her bf instead, then might else well she can live her happily ever after life with her bf. I was there when her bf verbally shout and scolded her. I was there when she broke down when the world are against her. I was there when she needs someone. I'm disappointed that I was left like this.

Now I understand why Iskandar, her long time friend told me the reason why they are disappointed with her and find its hard to mend the crack. I once told myself, I will be there with her when she's down but I guess I'm not that sure abt it now.

For now what I'm sure is that I'm utterly disappointed but I still care for her. Love is blind ehh.. well I'm slowly regaining back my vision...

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