Sleepless Nite

I wish her happy bdae yesterday 20th Sept. It was a short message, "happy Birthday"

Don't wish to get myself carried away again..

For now.. I've been unable to sleep well.. I'll think abt her when i sleep, woke up from sleep, wondering how is she..whether she still got scolded words of abuse by her bf..

Well I went to her FB page.. she seems happy, from her pictures.. good for her I guess. I regret falling in Love with her.. cos it's easy for me to like girls..lots of girls..random girls.. girls at first sight..etc.. but it's very hard for me to fall for a girl cos I'm an extremely picky sort of a guy.. and if I fall for someone.. it also means that she is my other self, my bitter self..

Oh god... I can't believe I gave up again.. after 2 girls.. i gave up again..even thou i told myself countless time that, this time it will be different. I won't give her up but then, it occur again. Once I gave up, she will fade away slowly from my haert. Just like nurul. I think I have a very soft heart, I rather see someone i love be happy than having myself happy. Sighh...

Recently, nurul got engaged and when i knoe abt it from her fb, I felt happy for her, for real. But glad that I no longer have feelings for her.. even if i have, it would be close friend relationship. Now u see why I'm so adamant not to give her up cos I do not want her to fade away from my heart.

I need to sleep period, like now.. but how to?? Oh god!!! help me... give me ur guidances and signs on what can I do abt her?? sesungguhnya ko yang maha tahu akan segalanya..