Goodbye 2010

Hi,

I'm supposed to meet sham and pik at the bridge for countdown today but I guess my heart just simply devastated.
She msg me today, informing me of her engagement tomorrow and ask me to come to her engagement.

I just froze..

I'm sorry but I just can't go to her engagement cos I'm not sure if I could control my emotion if I go over. Yes, I'm feeling happy for her. But I just can't come to terms with reality that he is the one she gonna get engaged with.

I'm sorry, once u lost the trust in me.. it's hard to regain it. I can't be happy trusting him once more to ensure ur happy, amelia. I don't mind if u got engaged or even marry as long the guy is able to take care of u, bring smile to u rather than sadness.

I know that I'm not good enough for you and also not religiously inept. I try to improve myself.. going to religious classes, avoid going to clubs, drink. I do all this for myself and for u. I want to be able to guide u one day if I were given a chance to be ur other half.

Ya'Allah, If these is a test for me, I'll accept it with open arms cos I know you have greater plans for me hopefully in 2011. Insyallah.
If Amelia's not the one for me, I pray to you Allah that you bring my other half to me, insyallah in 2011. I'm hurt and I'm afraid my heart may shut it's door and by then, I know i will find it difficult to open it again.

Lastly despite not coming to her engagement, Ya'Allah, bless Amelia's engagement and may 2011 be a year full of happiness rather than sadness for her. All i want is for her to be happy.

Amin.